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Old 03-20-2007, 08:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. ((xDAMx))

10-15 bars due on Monday,
deadline for check-ins in Friday.
Please show, match & vote.

Topic: The final stone..
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Old 03-20-2007, 09:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

In, should be good
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Old 03-22-2007, 04:20 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

Best of luck..
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Old 03-26-2007, 01:39 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

Ehh, waz goin on here?
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Old 03-26-2007, 12:01 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

I haven't been home since Friday, I will be home tonight to write up a verse as I always do before the deadline. Need not worry about me showing, Im sure Pem' is showing as well, I just hope he shows before the deadline which would be nice to see.


**its 8:30 & ima get at writing my verse in about an hr or so. Uppin for Pem to see if he droppin tonight......

Well blah, I really am annoyed at nobody honoring the deadline. Nothing personal

Last edited by DAM; 03-27-2007 at 12:10 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:15 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

Haitian Diamonds are Forever



The tides of dawn beated against the rainforest mangroves
Mugambe Sol, knee deep in the black water, still wearing the same clothes
Hard life in Port-au-Prince, kidnapping as a national sport
Privateer banana boater, another morning at the capital fort
A glint of blue beyond the surface awakened the desires he felt as a man
The look of wonder in his eyes as he held the sacred gem in his hand
Elemental powers became alive and shook the ground, Mutambe
Brought his fist to the sky while natural forces began to surround his body
The Haitian diamond, crafted by the white sands of Africa
Passed down by the ancient warlords of dryland and massacre
Still in disbelief of his discovery he abandoned the thought of marijuana
And contemplated giving the chosen diamond to his lovely wife Marianna
As an anniversary gift of luxurious extasy, to be truly embezzled
Over the mountainous millenia adorned in gold dust, rubies and emeralds
After Mutambe docked his banana boat he emitted Solomon's slander
For in his raggy garments, he held a godly mosquito that embodied the amber
The final stone carrier to start the revolution.. defeater of the evil
On a mission to sell the diamond and bring freedom to his people
Mutambe sought the town mines, claiming the riches of Babylonia
The village jeweler responded: "You are mistaken, sir... this is cubic zirconia."

Last edited by Pembroke; 03-27-2007 at 07:47 PM.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx



“Every wall is a door.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson


It began from tyranny & force by leaders in the old soviet union
A mere catastrophe to form a hoax of a socialist movement..2
The republic of separation plagued within the german border
An imperfect order to economize those that would earn a quarter..4
Stone by stone that were laid nations gathered as the barriers built
As Khrushchev stood as the impetus menace who would carry this guilt..6
Ignorant to the truth behind the impacts that the city is facing
The economic & political imprints stepped in to limit migration..8
The cities partition into halves in the hands of khrushchev approval
& those objections laid by the public only proved each unit was futile..10
Although jubilance grew to new heights in this euphoric mass
Hoping to move forward & purge themselves of their morbid past..12
Brave men & women who gave they life & were slain in the violence
The nation in silence as men left to bleed from the reign of the tyrants..14
Only few were given passage as stated in the 4 powers agreement
& canals, rivers & railways were insignificant vows for our freedom..16
No longer could we pray for coalesce & form a single unified state
But rather execute & murder anything & anyone who tried to escape..18
Gathered infantries in the brigade that would later form more troops
Synonymous chants of "No More", a cold war stemmed from WW2..20
"Tear down this wall" The words uttered in Ronald Reagan's challenge
From the brandenburg gate with the entire united states battalion..22
Refugees nonetheless saw other ways but the Czech's didn't want them
Then later followed by the dismantling in an early september autumn..24
Concluding the sabotage that included everything to nuclear weapons
As travelers past the gravel & grabbed themselves a souvenir treasure..26
A concert to mark the freedom but much more a celebration of rights
As orchestras came together & crowds hummed to Beethoven's 9th..28
It was a special time that had every single eye in the world involved
Another story of rise & fall...As The Last Stone drops off the berlin wall........30
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Old 03-28-2007, 12:29 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

this was a hard to battle to determine who actually won..first of all i am not a a fan of two different length verses...but since you posted i will vote..

pem your verse was fire in my opinion..the imagery was spot on..wasnt as creative as i had hoped but the details made up for it..here is my favorite section..

"As an anniversary gift of luxurious extasy, to be truly embezzled
Over the mountainous millenia adorned in gold dust, rubies and emeralds
After Mutambe docked his banana boat he emitted Solomon's slander
For in his raggy garments, he held a godly mosquito that embodied the amber"

very nice right here could picture it...

overall very nice verse, could've been more descprtive but came thru with the imagery and attention to detail... nice verse...



DAM

your verse was off the hook ..it had nice content, imagery, flow..wasnt as creative a concept but it worth every bit of what i read...here was my stand out lines..

"Although jubilance grew to new heights in this euphoric mass
Hoping to move forward & purge themselves of their morbid past..
Brave men & women who gave they life & were slain in the violence
The nation in silence as men left to bleed from the reign of the tyrants..
Only few were given passage as stated in the 4 powers agreement
& canals, rivers & railways were insignificant vows for our freedom.."

this was crazy right there..like the way that flowed..for reason this seemed very real to me..almost personal..


Overall this was very close battle..very good showing by both of you...but when it came down determining the winner..i had to go with my my gut...i read thru the verses again and again..and the one that seemed to stay with me and hit home was Dam's..i think his flow brought him over the edge..

Vote=Dam

PLEASE RETURN THE FAVOR!!!!!!
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Old 03-28-2007, 10:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

Dam -1
Uppin
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Old 03-29-2007, 07:49 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

pem, i liked your use of vocab in this as always lol, you came with some nice stand out ish

best lines

Elemental powers became alive and shook the ground, Mutambe
Brought his fist to the sky while natural forces began to surround his body
As an anniversary gift of luxurious extasy, to be truly embezzled
Over the mountainous millenia adorned in gold dust, rubies and emeralds
After Mutambe docked his banana boat he emitted Solomon's slander
For in his raggy garments, he held a godly mosquito that embodied the amber

vs

dam, this was a nice verse from you, i liked the imaginary you put into this

best lines

Stone by stone that were laid nations gathered as the barriers built
As Khrushchev stood as the impetus menace who would carry this guilt
Although jubilance grew to new heights in this euphoric mass
Hoping to move forward & purge themselves of their morbid past
Only few were given passage as stated in the 4 powers agreement
& canals, rivers & railways were insignificant vows for our freedom

overall, i have to go with dam to me he came a little better, both verses were nice though,
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Old 03-29-2007, 08:02 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

wow.... this is the clash of the titans right here... two very similar writers standing toe to toe and just dukin it out... personally, i dont think i like any other writers as much as you two when it comes to topicals... and if I didnt know Dam... id say ya'll were aliases just toying around with yourself in this battle... definately the battle of the week, possibly year...


Pem - holy shit son... do you like have a cousin in africa named Mutambe (assuming its not Mugambe since u used that in the second line then went with Mutambe afterwards) that all this shit happened too... and then you just felt like youd share it with us??? lol... i still swear your a schizo who comes up with a new personality everytime he has to write something like this... fuckin everyline was a masterpiece within itself... the imagery was so good it ripped my eyeballs out of my head... flew em to Africa... and they saw all this shit go down in real time...

verse breakdown - (to the rhythm of african drums)

The tides of dawn beated against the rainforest mangroves
Mugambe Sol, knee deep in the black water, still wearing the same clothes

settin up the scenario, like you always do... gettin me a little meotionally attatched...

Hard life in Port-au-Prince, kidnapping as a national sport
Privateer banana boater, another morning at the capital fort

damn @ first line...

A glint of blue beyond the surface awakened the desires he felt as a man
The look of wonder in his eyes as he held the sacred gem in his hand

nice...

Elemental powers became alive and shook the ground, Mutambe
Brought his fist to the sky while natural forces began to surround his body

interesting...

The Haitian diamond, crafted by the white sands of Africa
Passed down by the ancient warlords of dryland and massacre

nastyness...

Still in disbelief of his discovery he abandoned the thought of marijuana
And contemplated giving the chosen diamond to his lovely wife Marianna

only problem with this is noone would ever abandon marijuana...lol...

As an anniversary gift of luxurious extasy, to be truly embezzled
Over the mountainous millenia adorned in gold dust, rubies and emeralds

nicety...

After Mutambe docked his banana boat he emitted Solomon's slander
For in his raggy garments, he held a godly mosquito that embodied the amber

great imagery...

The final stone carrier to start the revolution.. defeater of the evil
On a mission to sell the diamond and bring freedom to his people

yerp...

Mutambe sought the town mines, claiming the riches of Babylonia
The village jeweler responded: "You are mistaken, sir... this is cubic zirconia."

haha... damn... this reminded me of the ending in Eminems Stan... where ure just like "damn... thats some fucked up shit...and sucks for him"...


Overall - I can never really find any flaws in your verses... everything is always well done...another great read... cant really say anything else... you know how i feel...




Dam - wow... if i didnt know any better... id say you were a european history major whose thesis was written on the fall of the Berlin Wall... but i know ure just a desk jockey schlub... which makes me think "where did he get all this information?"... then i came to the realization that you were the first Agent Cody Banks and were the sole reason the wall fell in the first place...great verse... so lets get to it...



verse breakdown - (to German Nazi military music)

It began from tyranny & force by leaders in the old soviet union
A mere catastrophe to form a hoax of a socialist movement..2

good background info and vocab...

The republic of separation plagued within the german border
An imperfect order to economize those that would earn a quarter..4

thats just sick wording...

Stone by stone that were laid nations gathered as the barriers built
As Khrushchev stood as the impetus menace who would carry this guilt..6

nice... (did somebody say Khrushchev??? **corny techno music starts to play**)

Ignorant to the truth behind the impacts that the city is facing
The economic & political imprints stepped in to limit migration..8

nice...

The cities partition into halves in the hands of khrushchev approval
& those objections laid by the public only proved each unit was futile..10

damn...

Although jubilance grew to new heights in this euphoric mass
Hoping to move forward & purge themselves of their morbid past..12

ok...

Brave men & women who gave they life & were slain in the violence
The nation in silence as men left to bleed from the reign of the tyrants..14

damn...

Only few were given passage as stated in the 4 powers agreement
& canals, rivers & railways were insignificant vows for our freedom..16

keepin that shit goin son...

No longer could we pray for coalesce & form a single unified state
But rather execute & murder anything & anyone who tried to escape..18

yup...

Gathered infantries in the brigade that would later form more troops
Synonymous chants of "No More", a cold war stemmed from WW2..20

good shit...

"Tear down this wall" The words uttered in Ronald Reagan's challenge
From the brandenburg gate with the entire united states battalion..22

get em Reagan...

Refugees nonetheless saw other ways but the Czech's didn't want them
Then later followed by the dismantling in an early september autumn..24

was it september autumn??? ill just take your word for it...

Concluding the sabotage that included everything to nuclear weapons
As travelers past the gravel & grabbed themselves a souvenir treasure..26

a little iffy on the flow, still two good lines...

A concert to mark the freedom but much more a celebration of rights
As orchestras came together & crowds hummed to Beethoven's 9th..28

i wonder if this is fact as well...

It was a special time that had every single eye in the world involved
Another story of rise & fall...As The Last Stone drops off the berlin wall........30

nice ending...

overall - the only thing lacking was a mention of David Haselhoff... who is the only real reason the berlin wall came down... vocab was nasty...descriptors were nasty... everything was nasty...




OVERALL BATTLE BREAKDOWN

well damn... this is a toughy... both of you are excellent at what you do...and its pretty hard to come to a decision... boths story telling was impeccable... both verses were vivid in my mind... both had some crazy vocab... both were pretty creative... Pem had the nice twist at the end... while dams really wasnt a twist but he built up to it nicely... I think dam had a better flow and put a little more information in his lines...i dont know if that makes sense... but it seemed like every word was describing something in great detail... whereas for Pem only like 95% seemed to do that... also just sheer volume... dam had more, and his verse didnt drop off for a second... both verses were extremely close... Dam just seemed to have just a little more to his... both came with some nice facts and references, but Dam dropped some graduate school knowledge while Pem dropped some Senior about to graduate knowledge... it was real close gentlemen, as i keep saying... but i think dam edged this one out... i dont think i will ever see a better topical battle...

Vote = Dam
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Last edited by Noggah; 03-29-2007 at 08:47 PM. Reason: i said it in the breakdown but forgot to actually put Vote = Dam
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Old 03-29-2007, 08:45 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: W9 Topical Belt: Pembroke vs. xDAMx

dam wins 3-0?
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