Unfed League Shit

[Exis]

http://www.rapflava.com/forums/hungry-again-140090.html ("Hungry Again")
http://www.rapflava.com/forums/lost-...ts-140196.html (Lost Dialects)

on the technical gadgets it's image is captured as mist...
they had tracked his position in attempts to snap he exists...
maybe even trap and perform some tests...
with contraptions strapped to a beast , attackin' with awesome strength...
it possess and stresses to them , thru veins that are more than pressed...
against his flesh leavin' an impression on a massively broadened chest...
but what a minor thought in the makin'...
it's not like all that's sent can just walk over and take him...
"we're talkin' of a form here men , nearly close to sixty six feet tall"...
came a voice thru the ear piece , sittin' in the lobes of Jim's receivin' the call...
he's the team's leader , and John is to whom he is listenin'...
they are the two on this mission that make the decisions...
from which the others take on , when they are made and then given...
"stay up in position , we will forget tryna tame it...
just maim on my signal , and pray for our sakes back at base...
they say this isn't the last ever transmission that came in from Jim y'all"...
the creature moves as do his gruesome lensed , zoom and wreck , pupil-less features...
in the direction of them confusin' him , on sights that's set with brutal procedures...
yet aware of the repercussions if these fuckers remove him from freedom...
feelin' a numbness , he's struck and his humungous structure plummets to earth...
crushin' each person that had come to hunt but got hurt...
the world's crust is imprinted with what half do not trust , convinced it's a myth...
you may think what I believe is absurd...
and I'll say tell that to the ones who have passed under the fiction it is...

just curious , was a picture topic...I think it's gonna come out as a thumbnail so click to enlarge if you on an apple like myself.

[antology]

Nice peice man, had some nice multis and very good vocab man. good choice of topic too man, its good to read some thing that aint played already. The only thing i would say is to make it longer.

[Jay-Rede]

multying dope man, flowing so much better, still using complexity which makes your pieces unique, forceful structure.. damn ex your producing the heat lately fam..

favourite bar(s)

on the technical gadgets it's image is captured as mist...
they had tracked his position in attempts to snap he exists...
maybe even trap and perform some tests...
with contraptions strapped to a beast , attackin' with awesome strength...
it possess and stresses to them , thru veins that are more than pressed...
against his flesh leavin' an impression on a massively broadened chest...

great piece dude, keep it coming

return the favour on my Me, Myself and I piece, much appreciated, thanks fam

[Exis]

appreciate the feed my peoples , sorry antology...I didn't forget you bro...Ima comment your shit shortly duke.

[Vulgar]

Despite the gnarly cobblestones in your foot notes, you take us there. To the scene of the red creature that stalked out of the metal cables - the scientists only had time to give a last exaggerated horror movie scream, their dead fingers still on the password keyset pad.

"...MAYDAY, MAYDAY, WE GOT A COLOSSAL BUG IN THE FILTRATION SYSTEM! -STATIC-..."

"the creature moves as do his gruesome lensed , zoom and wreck , pupil-less features...
in the direction of them confusin' him , on sights that's set with brutal procedures..."

When you deliver these scenesetting elements, the rhymed verses upgrades into a freefall into marked territory, and the result is an exciting display of lyricism. A lot of readers on here say your writing habits and the techniques you've adapted to are too stiff or limit the possibilities of where you can take your imagination to. The portal is always open - it wouldn't be a portal if it weren't.

"we're talkin' of a form here men , nearly close to sixty six feet tall"...
came a voice thru the ear piece , sittin' in the lobes of Jim's receivin' the call...

Excellent bar.

I'm still awaiting that ghetto epic saga - watch the Dark Knight, listen to some oldschool Dr. Dre, and you'll be fueled for the theme. It's all in the mind of the Exis.

Keep doing you

[tha titan]

yo exis watup been a while had a lot of shit goin on sorry i aint been in for a while but im back now dude
this piece like all ya pieces has a real creative and imaginitive flow
always a pleasure reading ya stuff as its always fresh and never played out

[Exis]

gracias for the comments Vulgar and titan , it's appreciated my friends.

[Exis]

fuckers takin' a nap...

[impolite]

"we're talkin' of a form here men , nearly close to sixty six feet tall"...
came a voice thru the ear piece , sittin' in the lobes of Jim's receivin' the call...
he's the team's leader , and John is to whom he is listenin'...
they are the two on this mission that make the decisions...
from which the others take on , when they are made and then given...
"stay up in position , we will forget tryna tame it...
just maim on my signal , and pray for our sakes back at base...
they say this isn't the last ever transmission that came in from Jim y'all"...

ah you epitomized lyrical storytelling here, intensely written.


feelin' a numbness , he's struck and his humungous structure plummets to earth...
crushin' each person that had come to hunt but got hurt...

brilliant multies.

pupil-less features ..aha, just really awesome imagery here. your vocab stepped itself up mostly towards the end but the highlight throughout was easily your storytelling. painted a very clear picture with this. (even without looking at the picture, haha). both well and awkwardly written in your usual working way. still yet to come across a writer who can execute diction the way you do. outstandingly descriptive and intense, your topical abilities have flourished immensely in the past few months. great read.

[Darth Yoda]

Yeah this is another side from you I hadn't previously seen. The story kind of left me wanting more. Thought some where towards the last section you rushed it to an end. Start and middle where the strong points for me, the overall flow of the piece was really on point and easy to follow. Good shit.

[eL Rated]

Sup duke, long time no speak, and after i just finished reading this piece it feels even more of a shame, ive missed all this elevation, so im'a gonna have to hit up your other pieces i missed when i get time. Anywho...

on the technical gadgets it's image is captured as mist...
they had tracked his position in attempts to snap he exists...

^ Dope opener, swinging the door right open to a tight piece..

the creature moves as do his gruesome lensed , zoom and wreck , pupil-less features...
in the direction of them confusin' him , on sights that's set with brutal procedures...
yet aware of the repercussions if these fuckers remove him from freedom...
feelin' a numbness , he's struck and his humungous structure plummets to earth...
crushin' each person that had come to hunt but got hurt...
the world's crust is imprinted with what half do not trust , convinced it's a myth...
you may think what I believe is absurd...
and I'll say tell that to the ones who have passed under the fiction it is...

^My favorite bars from the piece.

You've elevated a hella' lot my dude, and im happy to see that, this piece was the first ive read from you in a while and im impressed, nice man, very nice.