Topical: Pembroke(0-0) vs Plotter(0-0)

[Con]

10

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on a noshow deal, u need to post a bar or two..no exceptions!

READ THE RULES ON TOP OF THE THREAD BEFORE U PROCEED WITH THIS.








TOPIC: Faceless Friends

[Plot]

Check..

[Pembroke]

Have fun..

Ready when you are, Plottt

[Plot]

Real characters? Ive met faker actors in virtual realitys..
Where truer personalitys shine thru signatures n avys.
This verse hits the screen & Pem turns green with envy..
Want disses? Ive got plenty, here go check my latest 20.
http://www.rapflava.com/forums/20-bars-107179.html (20 bars)
With hands never empty, guess Imma cyber for lifer..
Plumes of smoke & noxious fumes trail from my cyphers.
From the comfort of my room, bongs n shrooms..
Writing songs & tunes onlne under my Nom da Plume.
Savor da flava! RF crosses all borders waters & races..
Where Plots got webspace with spinning avatar faces.
All battles managed! Keeping the checks & balances,
Vets gems & rubbish published by new challengers.
With sabers & glocks, shred pages & damage pens..
Duellin in sharkpools of swordfish & hammerheads.
Aliases war text, the faceless lyrically talented..
Take Pem! Tried to post a pic & shattered the camera lens.
No time for fake friends with their false peace & kudos..
Faggot heroin addicts'll never be straight shooters.
Like Judas, crooks n traitors dont sit in my good books..
Just picture Jesus on acid for how my pic would look.

[Pembroke]

Cairo, 2037


During the war of the deserts, there were 2 best friends
One was named Zamud.. the other Yusef-Ben
They led lives as hard working men, abiding by the rules of the state
In the land of Galilee, olive groves, and Centurion tanks..
It's a cold world, to survive they had to do what it takes
To come home in one piece and put food on their plates
Under the rising sun, they'd pour oil in the sand and watch it spread
One evening after digging trench holes, they settled for a meal of Apricots & bread..
When night fell, they fed their camels and fell asleep to the sound of the hooves
3 hours later, they awoke to the sound of air traffic and enemy troops
The camoflouged soldiers hissed.. but didn't kill them, recieving orders thenstead
A platoon tied their wrists, burnt the tent, and put bags over their heads..
-
Zamud and Yasef awoke again to the scent of steaming afternoon tea,
- They could almost taste the fluid, in a realm of people, wastes, and music..
4 Arab guerillas seized them on orders from General Adium
Who was eating lunch on a terrace overlooking the Meditteranean..
When they arrived at the terrace, the General greeted them
He said, on such a magnificent day, he had no intentions in killing them
Offering a bowl of water, he put on his most generous face..
"Your lives will be spared if you reveal the President's base"
They stood there, expressionless, neither said a word
General Adium winced, "You scums of the Earth will never learn.."
With a lazy wave of his hand, an enemy soldier lifted his weapon
Zamud and Yasef said good bye.. "We will meet again in heaven"
12 shots rang out, and down went the two friends... FOREVER.

[DaVe E BuRnOuT]

Faceless Friends


Real characters? Ive met faker actors in virtual realitys..
Where truer personalitys shine thru signatures n avys.nice
This verse hits the screen & Pem turns green with envy..
Want disses? Ive got plenty, here go check my latest 20.ehhh
20 bars
With hands never empty, guess Imma cyber for lifer..
Plumes of smoke & noxious fumes trail from my cyphers.decent
From the comfort of my room, bongs n shrooms..
Writing songs & tunes onlne under my Nom da Plume.lol nice..good word play
Savor da flava! RF crosses all borders waters & races..
Where Plots got webspace with spinning avatar faces.lol
All battles managed! Keeping the checks & balances,
Vets gems & rubbish published by new challengers.ight
With sabers & glocks, shred pages & damage pens..
Duellin in sharkpools of swordfish & hammerheads.ight
Aliases war text, the faceless lyrically talented..
Take Pem! Tried to post a pic & shattered the camera lens.ohh
No time for fake friends with their false peace & kudos..
Faggot heroin addicts'll never be straight shooters.ight
Like Judas, crooks n traitors dont sit in my good books..
Just picture Jesus on acid for how my pic would look.lol

This Was ight..Seemed alil more battlish then topic...As Far as Faceless Friends..ehh..>Seemed more of a diss to Pem..lol But some of ya bars were hot..others were just ehhh....flows was good feel off during the ehhs...but ether or good shit




PeM.......

During the war of the deserts, there were 2 best friends
One was named Zamud.. the other Yusef-Ben..ight
They led lives as hard working men, abiding by the rules of the state
In the land of Galilee, olive groves, and Centurion tanks..i liked this
It's a cold world, to survive they had to do what it takes
To come home in one piece and put food on their plates...Nice
Under the rising sun, they'd pour oil in the sand and watch it spread
One evening after digging trench holes, they settled for a meal of Apricots & bread..nice
When night fell, they fed their camels and fell asleep to the sound of the hooves
3 hours later, they awoke to the sound of air traffic and enemy troops lol
The camoflouged soldiers hissed.. but didn't kill them, recieving orders thenstead
A platoon tied their wrists, burnt the tent, and put bags over their heads....I Liked This
-
Zamud and Yasef awoke again to the scent of steaming afternoon tea,
- They could almost taste the fluid, in a realm of people, wastes, and music.. nice finish
4 Arab guerillas seized them on orders from General Adium
Who was eating lunch on a terrace overlooking the Meditteranean..Nice
When they arrived at the terrace, the General greeted them
He said, on such a magnificent day, he had no intentions in killing them nice
Offering a bowl of water, he put on his most generous face..
"Your lives will be spared if you reveal the President's base"word
They stood there, expressionless, neither said a word
General Adium winced, "You scums of the Earth will never learn.."nice multi
With a lazy wave of his hand, an enemy soldier lifted his weapon
Zamud and Yasef said good bye.. "We will meet again in heaven" Nice
12 shots rang out, and down went the two friends... FOREVER.ehh but the other bar was a good way to discribe the ending

This Was A good Topic.....Polt u Did ya thing..but it seemd to me that it was more of a diss on Pen Then Hitting the topic like it shoulda...Pem ya whole Shit Was nice...A reading them both again..i feel u hit the topic better then plot...Vote 4 Pem..reason his seemed more like a topical..N rhymed a tad bit better..Good Shit..Well Plot..hope u win...id Rather Topical battle Wid chu next Week...But im an honest voter..N thats my opinion...Vote PEM

[Plot]

I took a flip approach, by writing about my internet buddies (faceless friends)
(Ive never seen their faces) I thought you would have liked that Dave..
Plus the oppurtnity just came up to diss someone in the contect I was writing,
naturally I chose Pem. Its not a battle verse.
Where was the WP in the bar, it was mutlies.
& whats Team Faded..theres only 1 TF here kid, so kill that shit

[atom]

how can you break down a topical bar by bar anyways?

[DaVe E BuRnOuT]

Originally Posted by Plotter

I took a flip approach, by writing about my internet buddies (faceless friends)
(Ive never seen their faces) I thought you would have liked that Dave..
Plus the oppurtnity just came up to diss someone in the contect I was writing,
naturally I chose Pem. Its not a battle verse.
Where was the WP in the bar, it was mutlies.
& whats Team Faded..theres only 1 TF here kid, so kill that shit

Nah i did like ya shit...but i liked Pems Alil better As far As bein On topic....N yah there Is 1 TF on RF.......N There Is Only 1 TEaM FaDeD......Were Not TF...Were TEaM FaDeD...N On RF Theres Only 1 Of Us.....We don't Need No Abreviaiton......So Say Are Name As A Whole
Also Were Not A Crew..Were League of Xtrodinary Gental Men

[Fluent]

Best bars from each:

Pembroke

The camoflouged soldiers hissed.. but didn't kill them, recieving orders thenstead
A platoon tied their wrists, burnt the tent, and put bags over their heads..

Plot

From the comfort of my room, bongs n shrooms..
Writing songs & tunes onlne under my Nom da Plume.

Vote: Pembroke

Reason: Plot, your verse wasn't bad really, it had its moments such as the Nom da Plume line which was pretty nice. I didn't like the two shots at Pembroke myself because topical battles shouldn't involve insulting your opponent, you should let you creativity do that. Straight shooters was a cool metaphor but that bar didn't rhyme to me, kudos and shooters seemed like too much of a reach for a good slant rhyme. I thought you had a better flow going, had some pretty good slant rhymes at times but Pembroke's was just more engaging to read.

Pembroke, I enjoyed your verse more because I felt you came at it much more creatively but this wasn't as good as your topical for Hellrazor basically because the flow didn't feel as smooth. The rhyming was cool but I dunno, it kinda felt like more of a rhyming story than a rap, it felt kinda stop and go for a bunch of bars, maybe the limit was too confining. I did like how you didn't feel pressured to set out the plot (why they are faceless friends) in the first 2 bars and instead chose to wait till the end of the first verse, felt that kinda showed more experience topical wise. The part about the general not killing them because it was a magnificent day felt kinda cheesy to me.

[Pembroke]

Fluent, what I meant was:

"He said, on such a magnificent day, he had no intentions in killing them"

Not really cheesy, he just wanted to persuade them to unveil the location of the president's base.. he offered them water, acted generous. That type of thing. Thanks for voting..

2-0.