Topical Contender: ((xDAMx)) vs. Ruck - Hip Hop/Rap Music and Urban Social Network Community

**Plot** · 03-06-2007, 07:14 PM

10-15 bars due MONDAY,
check-ins by Friday, please match & vote on ALL battles
Topic: Take em to Church

**DAM** · 03-06-2007, 07:55 PM

I assume the topic is just a generic verse about the church. Time is of the essence but I should have some time to write nearing monday. Ill post regardless, even if it is some half ass shyt.

**Kaeo.Seru** · 03-06-2007, 11:39 PM

it doesnt have to be generic. I see many angles to this one

**Ruck** · 03-07-2007, 12:30 AM

either way my story will be unfinished to kids.

**DAM** · 03-12-2007, 06:26 PM

Aight Ill be home at 9pm. Ill write it then & post tonight before the deadline.

Ok, this is a little annoying. We both had like 5 days to post up a verse. I squeezed in time today to write & did what I could muster up. & be that if it may be that your very busy, I still find it hard to believe you couldn't post up a verse. I am not here to win or lose, but little things like this annoy me.

Its 5minutes to midnight.

**Ruck** · 03-13-2007, 01:31 AM

i am posting tommorow you dropkick.

post your shit up.

**DAM** · 03-13-2007, 11:21 AM

Well, I went to sleep because I have to wake up for work. I am at work now. If you going to post a day late when you had 5 days to write, please let a dude know. Cuz I wouldn't have rushed a verse to not be fucked up n no show for you, when you technically did.

Ill post up when I get home at 6.

Ok, im home but im not posting my verse til I see a verse from you cuz blah

WILL EDIT THIS WITH MY VERSE

**Ruck** · 03-14-2007, 02:01 AM

----
Concrete jungle with mostly shadows on a sunny day
robbin kids wasnt the trend it was the money way
----

Mean Muggin kids on the block
squintin, eye'in at my sandals
my jordans
lotta fakes that just lion like mammals
the hood is a scandal with lots of mysteries
slang thats been passed down through histories
so when 6 dudes tried to jump me
it was ordinary
i was pleased to know niggas thought of me
hit the concrete and they snatched my shoes
those kicks were fresh like air sealed food
but the damage is done, revenge. the time was now
to drop magazines and ice them clowns

----
I was young, told to chill and roll with the punches
but bullies wasnt stealin my cash they was eatin my lunches
----

called up young jay, stock up and meet me at 8
i was barefeet while panic mode was my state
saw them lames from 3 blocks and paced the street
air smelled like beef but it taste discreet
pulled out the metal popped, it was my time to shine
i hear six thuds and knew their lives were mine
i was a preist the sermon today was death
and the bullets are left stuck and ingraved their chest
its finished, now i wont come around that often
those theifs? i took em to church, in a coffin
---------

and about the deadline, dont think i took 6 days to write this..i just cant be fucked writing half the time, plus this topic couldnt get worse. simple.

if you want the win take it. but ima get some feedback on my keyed up verse.

**DAM** · 03-14-2007, 08:10 AM

^^DOn't like winning like that. I don't have the time either, as I keyed this quick as hell as well. But, here it is, g/l

*2 weeks prior*
"Listen, I don't know whether your mom Sandy is trust worthy..
Or if she's doing all this behind my back to just hurt me..2
She just told me she's pregnant & was sure that it's mine..
I knew I had to talk with someone & church was the sign..4
"But Dad" No son, with god, I have things to share with him..
I will be back, "Its okay dad, trust me, I will take care of this"..6
*Enters confession booth*
Please forgive me father, for I have a confession to make..
"Yes my son?" My wife is pregnant & I've been less of a saint..8
"What sins have you committed?" Those of lust & of greed..
"What do you mean?" Women, sex, money, drugs & a scheme..10
I knew my wife was cheating on me but I lacked to prove it..
So, to make myself feel better I went out & acted stupid..12
"We all have done our share, even I can give in to yearn"..
You father? "Yes my son, we all do, we live & we learn"..14
But you cant sin? Im in the dark, yours is a beautiful view..
"My son, in the end you must know, Im as human as you"..16
Please father, tell me, what could you keep in your soul..
"Well, I guess it would be kind of nice to tell a secret I hold"..18
"I too have done the deed, something we both may become..
"For in 9 months, I myself will be a father, in more ways then one..20
What??!? This is wrong father, please tell me cuz it cant be true..
Your wife & my Sandy, "Well...wait, Sandy who?!?!???..22
*1 Weeks prior*
I cant believe she could do this , there's a void in my heart..
She's a bitch, I hate her &, wait, what's that noise in the yard..24
"Police FREEZE! Your under arrest", for what? "Murdering twice"..
Are you serious? To who? "For killing father burns & his wife"..26
*Now*
Son, thank you for visiting, I haven't seen you in a couple weeks..
"I know dad" & I needed you around with the stuff that troubles me..28
I didn't kill anyone, don't they know that they've guessed a mistake..
"Um, please forgive me father, for I have a confession to make..........30

**1/2 Wit It** · 03-14-2007, 03:10 PM

Ruck; Highlights:

the hood is a scandal with lots of mysteries
slang thats been passed down through histories
so when 6 dudes tried to jump me
it was ordinary
i was pleased to know niggas thought of me
hit the concrete and they snatched my shoes
those kicks were fresh like air sealed food

^I was feeling this section alot. Some pretty creative concepts in there.

pulled out the metal popped, it was my time to shine
i hear six thuds and knew their lives were mine
i was a preist the sermon today was death
and the bullets are left stuck and ingraved their chest
its finished, now i wont come around that often
those theifs? i took em to church, in a coffin

^This ending was pretty good..came out real smooth.

Overall: I was really impressed with your verse..It was a pretty solid verse, not too creative, but not too basic either - just right in the middle. You remained consistent for the most part, although your story was a bit loose and needed a little work in some areas. Other than that, pretty good verse - keep it up.

xDAMx; Highlights:

"What sins have you committed?" Those of lust & of greed..
"What do you mean?" Women, sex, money, drugs & a scheme..10
I knew my wife was cheating on me but I lacked to prove it..
So, to make myself feel better I went out & acted stupid..12

^I'm digging this..your wording is very nice.

But you cant sin? Im in the dark, yours is a beautiful view..
"My son, in the end you must know, Im as human as you"..16
"I too have done the deed, something we both may become..
"For in 9 months, I myself will be a father, in more ways then one..20

^This set of lines really stood out to me..very creative concepts.

Overall: Good verse..although the story was a little predictable..I felt the strongest point of your entire verse was the consistently nice wording..You stayed on point throughout your entire story..I felt like your verse came on a little weak at the beginning, but it gradually got stronger as you continued..pretty impressive stuff

Overall Vote: This was a pretty nice topical battle..and this decision is pretty tough..One guy had a pretty dope closer, but his wording was a little shaky in certain areas..While the other guy had very consistent wording, but a predictable story..Hmm, I think I'm going to have to give this one to xDAMx - just because of the consistent wording and flow..while Ruck's verse stumbled in certain areas, xDamx's remained strong throughout...good battle guys; stay up

**Ruck** · 03-15-2007, 01:52 AM

cool feedback.

**Ruck** · 03-17-2007, 06:00 PM

how about some votes in here?

**Byrdie** · 03-17-2007, 07:20 PM

Mean Muggin kids on the block
squintin, eye'in at my sandals
my jordans
lotta fakes that just lion like mammals
the hood is a scandal with lots of mysteries
slang thats been passed down through histories
so when 6 dudes tried to jump me
it was ordinary
i was pleased to know niggas thought of me
hit the concrete and they snatched my shoes
those kicks were fresh like air sealed food
Like that alot from ruck.....flowed coo to me and nice imagery

Son, thank you for visiting, I haven't seen you in a couple weeks..
"I know dad" & I needed you around with the stuff that troubles me..28
I didn't kill anyone, don't they know that they've guessed a mistake..
"Um, please forgive me father, for I have a confession to make..........30
I felt that was ur strongest part...not tryin to be funny

All in all this was a OK battle.....DAM-the way u took the topic was played...but cool
Ruck urs was ok to not all that original but more creative then DAMs.....so do to lack of creativity on DAMs part my vote goes to Ruck Nice battle tho to both and keep on not not showing and postin

**Ruck** · 03-18-2007, 03:28 AM

1-1

lets get some votes.

**Plot** · 03-19-2007, 05:00 AM

pssh,, votes>?

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