Topical Belt: ((Pembroke)) vs. R.D. Famous

[STRONGARM]

12 Bars Due Friday 09/05/08. Vote on other Battles..!

TOPIC: “IT STARTED WITH FOG.."

[R.D.]

Good Luck Sir Pembroke, Incredible Topic Image Strong.

[Pembroke]

Chyes

[R.D.]

beyond in the mist, i'm speaking into the abyss..
lies a city of unseen filled with the injured and sick..
deep in the forest yes of course its the poorest..
no vegetation of season, no apples, no oranges..
except for those that were present in the fire..
the one that destroyed us when our people did tire..
when our homes rose in smoke and we fled for our lives..
no hero would show not even for a short debit of pride..
twas it smoke or not, i couldnt be most certain..
but it smells like burnt sugar beans in a furnace..
i entered the low visibility ever so vigilantly..
using my best ability to keep this fear from killin' me..
what was the sudden overcast shadowing my land..
was it our God of heavens or was it the simple man..
the one we regarded as the poet of the flowers..
for these february fires had he brought us april showers..
rooting from this earth i pray i meet my maker..
next time give me water and just a few acres..

blah blah.. drunk, have no idea what i just said..

[Pembroke]

I prayed for foggy nights and here it came
Wishes of a deranged, peerless James of the dreary lanes
This isn't no Drew Carrey game when there's people dying
Eagles eyeing the pale cloaked sheikhs in hiding
So I speak through rhyming.. about how nature makes such feeble timing
Blinding haze stops arrowheads from being released, causing terror in their wake
But without the fog, they'd be able to see the errors of their ways..
Take it out of the picture and there's no perished and enslaved
No jealousness or rage looking out your condemned precipice, dismayed
Embellished in a hate.. when true love missed it's mark
Every wisp of dark fume transformed to a pistol's bark
Soon.. it got mother nature's nipples hard, too..
People lust for power but they lack the courage to confess the urge
Regret is the atmosphere, we can't get past the surface without getting burnt
On a high cliff, there sits a grey herring, perched
Can't take flight cause it never learned how to flex it's feathers first
Steam converged in a kettle churned.. the season burns in the meadow's urn
We just can't see beyond where our eyes let us
I'm just chillin' on the sky terrace

[FranchisE]

well im typing on ps3 wit controller so...gotta keep short...both good was nice reads....RD stayed on topic painted good storyline included some specific details like what smell in the air.....and kept it steady.......PEM....was a little more spotty in my opinion...but to make up for that there was some nice rhyme ideas i liked.....cant qoute shit....b no browser buttons......fav part of RD... was from furnace line on....fav of PEM....was the rhyme ideas and flow of the words in the first half...overall..i intended to vote for PEM but after a second look and consideration to some of the ideas in the second half of pems verse... i get um..and think they were decent..uniue even..imma have to vote for RD..based on if this picture was a painting and i imagined subtitles....id invision the RD verse......VOTE-RD...

id love to see other voter outlooks on this one good battle ...

[Tyrant.]

Rees

using my best ability to keep this fear from killin' me..
what was the sudden overcast shadowing my land..
was it our God of heavens or was it the simple man..
^ my fav bars from ur verse

i think you couldnt came ahrder... almost seemed liek u didnt try as hard as u should of.

Pembroke

Eagles eyeing the pale cloaked sheikhs in hiding
So I speak through rhyming.. about how nature makes such feeble timing
Blinding haze stops arrowheads from being released, causing terror in their ways
But without the fog, they'd be able to see the errors of their ways..
Take it out of the picture and there's no perished and enslaved
No jealousness or rage looking out your condemned precipice, dismayed
^^ fav bars

It was good it seemed rushed but still good some ill concepts in my oppinion like drew carrey show i liekd that 2

good battle both but my vote isss

Vote - Pembroke

[Schematic]

Pem-

But without the fog, they'd be able to see the errors of their ways..
^ Bullseye.

Embellished in a hate.. when true love missed it's mark
Every wisp of dark fume transformed to a pistol's bark
^ Butter.

Soon.. it got mother nature's nipples hard, too..
^ I giggled in this kinda gay little way... ...

On a high cliff, there sits a grey herring, perched
Can't take flight cause it never learned how to flex it's feathers first
^ Dope...
Steam converged in a kettle churned.. the season burns in the meadow's urn
^This was cool too plus it seems to fit the topic

Haha.. Pem its kinda obvious you just threw some of it together last minute ( I could be wrong) ... the last bar was cool too but it seemed so out of place. Either way I cant blame you cause you just logged on 15minutes before deadline. Lucky.


R.D. -

beyond in the mist, i'm speaking into the abyss.. <-- I thought this was a dope line..
lies a city of unseen filled with the injured and sick..
^ Nice way to start it.

twas it smoke or not, i couldnt be most certain..
but it smells like burnt sugar beans in a furnace..
^ this flowed well even though the last words didnt rhyme..

I actually liked your story quite a bit, it was somewhat coherent. You did well with the topic so thats worth some points.

Idk this shit is tough for me to judge, I liked parts of each verse. Pem had some nice multies and concepts that stood out. RDs story was more along the lines of the topic. Im more partial of choosing skill over relevance. So...

Vote- Pem

[R.D.]

2-1 pem.. really appreciate the votes. sorry i dint come better

[Don Dotta]

Battle was a bit one sided to me..Rd didnt even try it seems like his hole verse was just rushed and thrown up there and anyone thats been here a while knows that pem is not the guy to slack off on...

Blinding haze stops arrowheads from being released, causing terror in their wake
But without the fog, they'd be able to see the errors of their ways..
Take it out of the picture and there's no perished and enslaved
No jealousness or rage looking out your condemned precipice, dismayed
Embellished in a hate.. when true love missed it's mark
Every wisp of dark fume transformed to a pistol's bark

Talk about fuckin fire..after readin this the fog cleared and it was obvious who got it..


pems verse was just stronger,better read overall...



Vote:Pem





nice battle boys..stay upwards..

[King M.C]

Decent battle on the strength of RD's neatness and in a story sense.
And for Pem's flow and hardhitting.

RD

i entered the low visibility ever so vigilantly..
using my best ability to keep this fear from killin' me..
My Fav

Pem

Embellished in a hate.. when true love missed it's mark
Every wisp of dark fume transformed to a pistol's bark
Soon.. it got mother nature's nipples hard, too..
My Fav

More wopsided than I thought it would be. I thought RD
would come harder than he did, but still a decent drop from
him.

vote: Pem

[STRONGARM]

4 - 1 Pem..

[Exis]

aight I'll close it out.

R.D:

beyond in the mist, i'm speaking into the abyss..
lies a city of unseen filled with the injured and sick..

^^nice bar...

i entered the low visibility ever so vigilantly..
using my best ability to keep this fear from killin' me..

^^I like that...

this is why you shouldn't write intoxicated , apart from those 4 lines nothin' stood out to me...some shit didn't rhyme and if it did than I def didn't see the connections.Everyone else has pretty much said what's up so there's not alot else to add fa real...it was an average verse at best fam.

Pem:

Blinding haze stops arrowheads from being released, causing terror in their wake
But without the fog, they'd be able to see the errors of their ways..
Take it out of the picture and there's no perished and enslaved
No jealousness or rage looking out your condemned precipice, dismayed
Embellished in a hate.. when true love missed it's mark
Every wisp of dark fume transformed to a pistol's bark

^^I have to echo Don , this whole section is hot...multies are tight and content is just dope.

People lust for power but they lack the courage to confess the urge
Regret is the atmosphere, we can't get past the surface without getting burnt
On a high cliff, there sits a grey herring, perched
Can't take flight cause it never learned how to flex it's feathers first

^^chea , that's nice...love the last bar.

Steam converged in a kettle churned.. the season burns in the meadow's urn

^^good line...

some really nice imagery here , thought when you multie laced sections flow was fire...word usage was alot better than R.D's...and yeah man...imo your storytellin' was stronger as was the overall verse , good shit.

easy decision no doubt , I meant to get at this yesterday but I thought I would give heads that are in the league a chance to leave comments...honestly expected this to have been completed smh.

Vote - Pem.

...stay up my friends.

[Pembroke]

Thanks for stepping up to the plate Ex.. good battle R.D, you came nice.

[STRONGARM]

5 - 1 Pembroke Wins..!