((RUCK)) VS DON DOTTA- Punches

[Noggah]

12 bars DUE THURSDAY, not friday...

check in, vote, show and we wont have any problems...

[Don Dotta]

Check,goin full.

[Ruck]

sgoodie.

[Ruck]

Don Got Ruckster...
Feelin like a scat fetish when your shit and colour droppin,
Inhale the toxins of ripped ribs and doctrines.
Your net careers a toss-up, and its just like an audible, another option
look cousin, I always got those smart tricks niggahs call me a clever jester,
Got dissed 4 months ago, and you still tryna return fire like devin hester
His nationality? Its like a cheerful scam, this cat claimin he "a merry con"
but even with bodies landing in open arms, Kids wouldnt be caught dead with don
Cats said, your nice now get ya dough up, Went and got my chauncey billups
truth is ruck'll make ya frame freeze, in the same way as half done situps
his lines are simply yuck, throwin disgusting hooks and a putrid jab
hes only ill?
this kid remind me of Jonah Hill the way hes so fuckin superbad
at rap skills.
i eat baby faces and spit teeth when the mics on right
ruck'll leave don behind enemy lines like a tyson fight
no respect for son,
look i even treated his tournament like a joke
for a second i thought don spit fire, then i realised it was smoke.....
dons gotta healthy family tree,the youth? shit ill choke that fountain
i aint bothered
cause the last time a dude from behind won, was awards for brokeback mountain
prove im lieing, look don claimin hes the best thats on
but ruck'll crush this lil bumble bee like a decepticon
on a path to glory? well ruck'll commence course
dotta a fag
cause the only real d.o.n is a nickname for the defence force
on my job, rap talent? this kid would probly quiz me after
RF knows that when bullets fly don duck like a disney character
-----
terrible i know.
but i always show.

[Don Dotta]

Man if he said he's ill he's lien who let em outta retirement?
...I slide up the sucess chain
He's scared to climb the ladder like height petrafied firemen
U dropped first in hope's of winning,please Don'll bruise this man
Throw hook's that make jaws pop up quicker then unwanted computer spam...lump
You could doubt me but i drop science and the flow's like water
N when it come's ta dude's Ruck'll Mount ten like pro snow boarder's..faggot bitch
Fam fair one's went out in the 80's..ill blow this old timer off the set
Dot'll treat him like Will Ferell but put the Blade's Of Glory to his neck
Catchin wreck and after a clip shit ill just rip the dude ta piece's
N his chick's a slut
She's fast to get Knocked Up without renting new realease's
Niggas cant fatham my reach snuff n just shatter your teeth
While Ruck's known to no show ta kids he think's he cant beat...hahah
You look like somthing to eat fool n you couldnt live the life im livin
Forget rap..
Faggot's punch's dont land like pilot's with flight addiction's
So a fight with written's?..he'll never last ill stack bodies like pringle's
And have this battle Be Easier then Mary J an Hott Rod single's...Be Easssyyyy
Ya peepin a new n improved threat,you aint even got ya shoes wet
Call Dotta the chevy dealer the way i just pick up n move vet's
If you flex..i feel sorry cause the glocc is gonna burn ya frame
Fuck reppin a set he prolly dont know how ta make n insurance claim
Think ya dope but your dreamin kid cuz duke the pump is droppin a thug
And when this pussy get's jumped is the only time he's rockin a club
Ill take it in blood and trynna herb me only gets you killed
Ruck's nothing but a fake front,it's worse then sterling silver grills.....excellencee...........

[Ruck]

ugh votes.

[Don Dotta]

Much props on the verse my dude..

Originally Posted by Ruck

on my job, rap talent? this kid would probly quiz me after
RF knows that when bullets fly don duck like a disney character

Shit was dope^^....prolly the illest name flip ever used against me..


uppin this shit it should be a good one for the voters.

[Jay-Rede]

Ruck

i eat baby faces and spit teeth when the mics on right
ruck'll leave don behind enemy lines like a tyson fight

^^ that was really cool

on my job, rap talent? this kid would probly quiz me after
RF knows that when bullets fly don duck like a disney character

^^ im fucking stumped, that is amazing kid!! god damn 10/10!

hot verse man, much props for this, you went all out and showed dotta what you were all about, well done

dotta

Ya peepin a new n improved threat,you aint even got ya shoes wet
Call Dotta the chevy dealer the way i just pick up n move vet's

^^ haha nice man - cool flip, but kind of a big up bar

Think ya dope but your dreamin kid cuz duke the pump is droppin a thug
And when this pussy get's jumped is the only time he's rockin a club

^^ lol dope man

cool verse, i felt you could have come better, i've seen hotter verses from you man, but not bitching, all the same, dope verse - props

v// ruck - felt he had a better polished verse, and his finishing bar just killed off - dope battle guys

[Criticize]

His nationality? Its like a cheerful scam, this cat claimin he "a merry con"
but even with bodies landing in open arms, Kids wouldnt be caught dead with don

his lines are simply yuck, throwin disgusting hooks and a putrid jab
hes only ill?
this kid remind me of Jonah Hill the way hes so fuckin superbad
RF knows that when bullets fly don duck like a disney character
_____________________
He's scared to climb the ladder like height petrafied firemen
She's fast to get Knocked Up without renting new realease's



vote-ruck.


ruck your slowly getting better, and better, your lines are starting to become more fresh and welll written, you have basicaly had the basics down for a long time, and your slowly making the steps foward but i think its time for you to make a leap, id love to see you start calling dudes out WHO YOU RATE AS BETTER WRITTERS THAN YOU. and just practice writing battles where you have to come at your absolute ulimate hardest to win, so that you keep elevating, you know exactly what a dope bar is/looks like just keep working on it and getting better, and your going to be dope, bring it on quicker though man, im sick of battling the same dudes.

Don dotta...your like ruck, but with out 3-6 months writing battle verses experience, the lines i quoted from you were not exactly lines i liked, i wanted to use them as an example.
those 2 lines are examples of lines that can be OK at best, but you didnt word them well enough. i think those are the 2 things you need to work on the most

1. wording your lines better to make harder punches
2. coming with fresher/better more hard hitting concepts


like that knocked up line could be good man dont get me wrong, but it was only decent the way you spit it you just need to expand on your metaphor to make it sicker
OR word it in a way that makes it seem like a harder hitting punch, you sort of word your lines to basicaly and your metaphors. you need to get them more complex and more hard hitting and direct.
pm me if you dont understand what im saying.

im basicaly just trying to give advice here as much as feedback, so that you can both make the next step in writing good battle verses alot easier.
but ruck wins this battle he had the better punch lines, it probably comes down to experience he knows what hes doing more and he came with the better punches. and the superbad and don duck lines where pretty nice.

ok battle guys. keep working on it.

vote-ruck.

[Xylo]

Well this was a cool battle

Best lines to me from Ruck

"dons gotta healthy family tree,the youth? shit ill choke that fountain
i aint bothered
cause the last time a dude from behind won, was awards for brokeback mountain"

and

"on my job, rap talent? this kid would probly quiz me after
RF knows that when bullets fly don duck like a disney character"

Ruck you have very nice style and flow in most all your lines most of them were pretty hard core disses. your concepts were all pretty nice , you had 2-3 bars that were sort of light weight
other than that fabulous!!

Dotta way to fight back man because its sometimes hard to follow a decent verse.


ruck threw several hooks and crosses at you and you answered back difinitively


my favorite lines from you were:



"So a fight with written's?..he'll never last ill stack bodies like pringle's
And have this battle Be Easier then Mary J an Hott Rod single's...Be Easssyyyy"

and


"Ya peepin a new n improved threat,you aint even got ya shoes wet
Call Dotta the chevy dealer the way i just pick up n move vet's"

In this battle it seemed to me that whom ever had the most hits would come out the victor

so i will have to Vote = Ruck

his verse seemed a bit smoother and had just a few more hard hitting personals and punches than DONS did.

GOOD JOB TO BOTH.

[Schematic]

Don
-
Man if he said he's ill he's lien who let em outta retirement?
...I slide up the sucess chain
He's scared to climb the ladder like height petrafied firemen
^ ok opener
U dropped first in hope's of winning,please Don'll bruise this man
Throw hook's that make jaws pop up quicker then unwanted computer spam...lump
^ ok
You could doubt me but i drop science and the flow's like water
N when it come's ta dude's Ruck'll Mount ten like pro snow boarder's..faggot bitch
^ eh
Fam fair one's went out in the 80's..ill blow this old timer off the set
Dot'll treat him like Will Ferell but put the Blade's Of Glory to his neck
^ Couldve worded this better but cool.
Catchin wreck and after a clip shit ill just rip the dude ta piece's
N his chick's a slut
She's fast to get Knocked Up without renting new realease's
^ decent
Niggas cant fatham my reach snuff n just shatter your teeth
While Ruck's known to no show ta kids he think's he cant beat...hahah
^ lol!
You look like somthing to eat fool n you couldnt live the life im livin
Forget rap..
Faggot's punch's dont land like pilot's with flight addiction's
^ aight..
So a fight with written's?..he'll never last ill stack bodies like pringle's
And have this battle Be Easier then Mary J an Hott Rod single's...Be Easssyyyy
^ eh
Ya peepin a new n improved threat,you aint even got ya shoes wet
Call Dotta the chevy dealer the way i just pick up n move vet's
^ hmm ok
If you flex..i feel sorry cause the glocc is gonna burn ya frame
Fuck reppin a set he prolly dont know how ta make n insurance claim
^ nah
Think ya dope but your dreamin kid cuz duke the pump is droppin a thug
And when this pussy get's jumped is the only time he's rockin a club
^ ok
Ill take it in blood and trynna herb me only gets you killed
Ruck's nothing but a fake front,it's worse then sterling silver grills.....excellencee...........
^ Needed a better closer

- Overall pretty decent verse. One nice personal and a few solid ones.


Ruck
-
Don Got Ruckster...
Feelin like a scat fetish when your shit and colour droppin,
Inhale the toxins of ripped ribs and doctrines.
^ aight..
Your net careers a toss-up, and its just like an audible, another option
look cousin, I always got those smart tricks niggahs call me a clever jester,
^ more braggin
Got dissed 4 months ago, and you still tryna return fire like devin hester
His nationality? Its like a cheerful scam, this cat claimin he "a merry con"
^ eh ok
but even with bodies landing in open arms, Kids wouldnt be caught dead with don
Cats said, your nice now get ya dough up, Went and got my chauncey billups
^ heh
truth is ruck'll make ya frame freeze, in the same way as half done situps
his lines are simply yuck, throwin disgusting hooks and a putrid jab
hes only ill?
this kid remind me of Jonah Hill the way hes so fuckin superbad
^ eh ok..
at rap skills.
i eat baby faces and spit teeth when the mics on right
ruck'll leave don behind enemy lines like a tyson fight
^ yessir
no respect for son,
look i even treated his tournament like a joke
for a second i thought don spit fire, then i realised it was smoke.....
^ lol..
dons gotta healthy family tree,the youth? shit ill choke that fountain
i aint bothered
cause the last time a dude from behind won, was awards for brokeback mountain
^ nah
prove im lieing, look don claimin hes the best thats on
but ruck'll crush this lil bumble bee lake a decepticon
^ eh no
on a path to glory? well ruck'll commence course
dotta a fag
cause the only real d.o.n is a nickname for the defence force
^ nah
on my job, rap talent? this kid would probly quiz me after
RF knows that when bullets fly don duck like a disney character
^ Nice one!
-----


- You had a few real solid punches and the nice closer. Why so much filler though?

Overall- Ruck had the best punch of the battle and best closer. Close battle in my eyes though.

Vote- Ruck

[Don Dotta]

Damn i thought this would be alot closer..i didnt think my verse sucked like that..pfftt..shit sux..nice battle ruck..see you in the near future,as for now i will dissapear into the depths of the league..=(

[Pembroke]

Ruck the Unconfident One

Don Got Ruckster...
Feelin like a scat fetish when your shit and colour droppin,
Inhale the toxins of ripped ribs and doctrines.
Okay, images are cool.
Your net careers a toss-up, and its just like an audible, another option
look cousin, I always got those smart tricks niggahs call me a clever jester,
Got dissed 4 months ago, and you still tryna return fire like devin hester
Decent, like the flow.
His nationality? Its like a cheerful scam, this cat claimin he "a merry con"
but even with bodies landing in open arms, Kids wouldnt be caught dead with don
Eh..
Cats said, your nice now get ya dough up, Went and got my chauncey billups
truth is ruck'll make ya frame freeze, in the same way as half done situps
Nah.
his lines are simply yuck, throwin disgusting hooks and a putrid jab
hes only ill?
this kid remind me of Jonah Hill the way hes so fuckin superbad
Cool punch, I was waiting for a "Superbad" play sooner or later..
at rap skills.
i eat baby faces and spit teeth when the mics on right
ruck'll leave don behind enemy lines like a tyson fight
K
no respect for son,
look i even treated his tournament like a joke
for a second i thought don spit fire, then i realised it was smoke.....
Nice wording, soft punchline.
dons gotta healthy family tree,the youth? shit ill choke that fountain
i aint bothered
cause the last time a dude from behind won, was awards for brokeback mountain
Semi-humorous..
prove im lieing, look don claimin hes the best thats on
but ruck'll crush this lil bumble bee like a decepticon
I found this pretty hard.
on a path to glory? well ruck'll commence course
dotta a fag
cause the only real d.o.n is a nickname for the defence force
K
on my job, rap talent? this kid would probly quiz me after
RF knows that when bullets fly don duck like a disney character
Nice nameplay punchline, but the rhyme doesn't work for me.

Don Dot

Man if he said he's ill he's lien who let em outta retirement?
...I slide up the sucess chain
He's scared to climb the ladder like height petrafied firemen
Decent opening.
U dropped first in hope's of winning,please Don'll bruise this man
Throw hook's that make jaws pop up quicker then unwanted computer spam...lump
Seen similar concepts before.. okay
You could doubt me but i drop science and the flow's like water
N when it come's ta dude's Ruck'll Mount ten like pro snow boarder's..faggot bitch
Had potential, poor connection with the link noun.
Fam fair one's went out in the 80's..ill blow this old timer off the set
Dot'll treat him like Will Ferell but put the Blade's Of Glory to his neck
Liked this..
Catchin wreck and after a clip shit ill just rip the dude ta piece's
N his chick's a slut
She's fast to get Knocked Up without renting new realease's
Decent movie punch
Niggas cant fatham my reach snuff n just shatter your teeth
While Ruck's known to no show ta kids he think's he cant beat...hahah
Hmm.. which is why you no showed me? And Freezer?.. hmm
You look like somthing to eat fool n you couldnt live the life im livin
Forget rap..
Faggot's punch's dont land like pilot's with flight addiction's
Eventually, they'll land, one way or the other, but basic attempt..
So a fight with written's?..he'll never last ill stack bodies like pringle's
And have this battle Be Easier then Mary J an Hott Rod single's...Be Easssyyyy
Eh, song/movie title punchlines are ineffective to me, too easy. It's like me using "I'll make you die hard, with a vengeance like the new movie with Bruce Willis!"
Ya peepin a new n improved threat,you aint even got ya shoes wet
Call Dotta the chevy dealer the way i just pick up n move vet's
K, kind of grimey.
If you flex..i feel sorry cause the glocc is gonna burn ya frame
Fuck reppin a set he prolly dont know how ta make n insurance claim
Hahah..
Think ya dope but your dreamin kid cuz duke the pump is droppin a thug
And when this pussy get's jumped is the only time he's rockin a club
Not bad..
Ill take it in blood and trynna herb me only gets you killed
Ruck's nothing but a fake front,it's worse then sterling silver grills.....excellencee...........
Awkwardly worded, served it's purpose.

This site's battling scene needs to bring back those nameplay punchlines.. amazing nowadays, decent back in Stoic's days. Anyways, I thought this battle was extremely close. Ruck had hit or misses except for a nice rhyme scheme and 3 nice, creative concepts. Dot had consistently decent ideas, but some were basic and I didn't like that one personal. Picked up at the end, Dot, I liked your ideas, but it turned out that Ruck had a slightly stronger approach and held his verse together more.

v/ Ruck

Close one. Stay up to both..