Royaltie's Place

[Queenspittah]

Links: "Home" and "Japanese hotdogs"

Yeah this ones inspired by jube jube's last poetic piece, "Japanese Hotdogs"...

Vile extracts acridly seep sporadically about,
Brimming moons rotate without an axis but never shining,
Open widely for the unsightly; not ever smiling,
The quiet boredom of micro-organisms lost in porcelain,
spinning parasitic convulsions passing through connected phases,
concetration consumed in various pages or print,
exertion to disperse expeditiously,
incessant peeping one eyed weepers and clammy crevices,
paper trails disolving instantaneously,
grimey and mucked to repulsiveness by daily intaking,
expelled degenerates making a hastey escape,
find that the dismal egress is final death with fitting distaste,

Thanks for the inspiration dawg...

[Vulgar]

The queen of the pack - expression her specialty. As a suggestion, for breeding purposes, keep your words alive and breathing - with needed limitation. When the word choice is loaded to a point where it becomes a resistance barrier, the accumulation becomes an outer layer. When it's cured - there will be an emergence of a celestial body in poetry.

concetration consumed in various pages or print,
^Concentration*

grimey and mucked to repulsiveness by daily intaking,
^From daily intake*

expelled degenerates making a hastey escape,
^Hasty*

"The quiet boredom of micro-organisms lost in porcelain,"
^Excellent.

Try to control excess comparison and analagous function. Language words can grow confusing - calmly construct. A viewpoint from your space. Jube Jube and you should write a poem together.

Keep doing you

[jube jube]

I'm a bit late, but oh well. Sorry, q. My first reaction was: Did you have sex with the thesaurus? To be frank sinatra, I only understood about a third of this because of your intimate affair with vocabulary. You still held it down for the people. Our African ancestors would be proud.... and so am I. Glad I could inspire you

Write another, saliva pump!

- jube jube

[Queenspittah]

mkay....overdid the verbage....understood. i ts just the motif I've been stuck in lately...sue me!lol I'll be back wit another...oh n if you break down each line it should give you a visual of a room in your house that you use everyday...lol I like abstract Jube...it makes the ordinary more intricate n complex...

[Xylo]

Q. that was refreshingly tight!

ak47.........1

[7th Crescent]

definitely was a nice piece..as already stated the vocab took away from the over-all read ..but once truely broken down and absorb the poem it began to truely shine..i admire these kind of poems/poets who can open my eyes..truely appreciated..nice work..keeping elevating...

[K.E.M]

this being the first piece of yours I read I was happy with the result..I agree with the wording comments above, but when you have a rush of thought things are going to come out a certain way and that's that. I really really liked this:

"The quiet boredom of micro-organisms lost in porcelain"

particular words make all the difference in a line and for me, 'porcelain' is what made that line stand out..made me re-read it a few times cause I liked how it sounded in my mind.

I'll have to check out some other stuff of yours cause I liked this..keep it up!

[Queenspittah]

Yeah...think it's interesting to take the ordinary and turn it into veiwable art. ANYTHING can be poeticized (I on't know if that's a word!LMAO)!

Preciate it folk..lemme know where n when to return the feed!

[Mistuh Grippz]

To say you like abstract thoughts is an understatement lol!! I digged the vocab fuh sho, love words I gotta know the meaning for to understand a single line so it got me in that aspect. As I usually feel about abstract styles, this lacked general direction and feel. As you explained it was more a description piece so I understood what you were going for after reading it, but after just reading it I was sorta like "... ok". LoL.. it isnt a bad thing but just not necessarily the type of poetry I enjoy. I think if you focused more on where you were going it would have been a lot better. Definitely a good read though.

Oh and BTW as to your comment on my poem, I dont care if I have the worst distaste for an individual to the point where I hate seeing them post.. I hold honesty and integrity above all else so my personal feelings about an individual or what they've said will NEVER affect the way I can appreciate their work.

1

[chris]

act retarded but have talent.

[Queenspittah]

Originally Posted by gorilla stance

act retarded but have talent.

And then..

Originally Posted by gorilla stance

and you complain about queenspittah being racist when most of her comments are just her stating her opinions...

I have went around and search queenspittah posts and it seems like you dumb fucks are the reason why she act this way...

I know ayan, like I posted in another thread about how sad it will be if most the older female members were around and see how stupid most of these idiotic fucks act these days with the senseless sentences they post and how how sickening it will be for most old members to even stick around.

Well which opinion is the one you're gonna stick with??LOL