NOGGAH VS. ((SCHEMATIC))- Topical

[Noggah]

12 bars DUE THURSDAY, not friday...

if your gonna go over the limit, let your opponent know in advance...

check in, vote, show and we wont have any problems...


Topic:

you fight with a prominent figure, alive or dead...


if you have a problem with this topic get at me...

[Schematic]

Chess.

Nice Topic.

[Schematic]

No metaphor implied, im the meteoric world eater
a blazing line to realign yours without a word either
Coming for Mother Earth under cover of Saturns ring
bringing Judgement and Rapture without clapping and singing
A vast and unseen machine programmed Holy plans
to blast planets to pieces with fully automated cannons
Brought famine and waged wars on the Rainforest
with Agent Orange, waving flaming torches like crazy cave explorers
Raising horror, a blazing lordship ladies and dames screamin
leaving the fray with a bridage of evil enslaved demons
She raged undefoot, and above with ball lightning
fighting long after the fall of all life forms hiding
While standing on a landfill with a brain full of pain killers
I bask in the waves of radiation and acid rain rivers
From space I see the blue face surrounded by mushrooms
Her once proud race shrouded with flames and dust plumes
Ill shoot a nuke at jupiter and ignite the second sun
till its hot as nuclear fusion, and the light of heavens come
Theres no place to run or protection from any forces
Its "Apocolypse Now," and im the prophetic seventh horsemen
Whats left of her sizzles and pops with toxic fumes
so I light a Cig on the cinders, and sing a Sinatra tune

[Noggah]

a monumental occasion... impact of atomics droppin on asians...
not damage, but mind expansion and growth when knowledge awakens...
back in the past, a master of craftin words and Noggah were pacin...
tossin up statements, questioning logic and thoughts of the ages...
til one day, Socrates all in a rage got cross in his hatred...
cause Nog was the boss and he could no longer tolerate it...
He challenged tha kid to a battle of wits, words launched the engagement...
so my mental targeting stations locked on with a full arsenal waitin...
with rocket exchanges, mainly on my part, he knocked a grenade in...
solvin equations, ponderin mazes of quantum and philosophical stages...
impossible obstacles waded through while ripples caused a sensation...
onlookers got from the sages an insurmountable amount of topics debated...
had them jotted on pages to pass down for followers lost in amazement...
students were brought up and raised on it, embedded in the heart of the nation...
modern thought was based off this display of conquerin language...
one of their students regurgitated it and was honored n famous...
it was Socrates' brain muscle strain trouble, over-stackin bars on the weight bench...
against a mind sharpened to blades polished n stainless I'm choppin away with...
i took out his legs, he toppled onto nubs wobblin dangerous...
while pointing a knife at me with a wild swing that scarred the face a bit...
I lobotomized him on the spot... his skull was hollow and brainless..
the path to enlightenment blocked with erasers makin all of it blankness...
my smartest acquantance reduced to nothing, his friends offered escapin...
but he said the towns judgement of death was the best option to save him...

[Criticize]

No metaphor implied, im the meteoric world eater
a blazing line to realign yours without a word either

Brought famine and waged wars on the Rainforest
with Agent Orange, waving flaming torches like crazy cave explorers

While standing on a landfill with a brain full of pain killers
I bask in the waves of radiation and acid rain rivers

Ill shoot a nuke at jupiter and ignite the second sun
till its hot as nuclear fusion, and the light of heavens come







a monumental occasion... impact of atomics droppin on asians...
not damage, but mind expansion and growth when knowledge awakens...
back in the past, a master of craftin words and Noggah were pacin...
tossin up statements, questioning logic and thoughts of the ages...
til one day, Socrates all in a rage got cross in his hatred...


with rocket exchanges, mainly on my part, he knocked a grenade in...
solvin equations, ponderin mazes of quantum and philosophical stages...

my smartest acquantance reduced to nothing, his friends offered escapin...
but he said the towns judgement of death was the best option to save him...



wow real close battle.

schem i dont really get how you approached the topic here, maybe you fighting with mother nature if not i have no idea, coz your destroying the world almost lol but what prominant figure? but yea i sometimes feel that you try to focus too much ON that imagery, like alot of idiots like that, BUT your not going to be able to make a good cd with that style of writing and i just find it gets old, dont get me wrong you do it well, but i dont find it entertaining. you had a good verse a fair few lines i liked, but im just not sure of how well you went with the topic.

noggah you have them call multis but my problem with your verse is you dont finish of you bars well enough, like your lines going good but then the last few words dont do the bar justice, as if you end them hap hazardly.
il tell you why i think this is, i bet you wrote your bar one line at a time, with no clear direction of where that particular bar was going to end...so half the time the 1st line of the bar is the best line, which is the opposite it should be. i think you should write your 1st line of the bar to match the 2nd line not the other way around.


but overall i have to give this to noggah close as battle, and i dont really know who will win this overall. but hes verse was the type i like more, some cool multi's he tackled the topic more on point imo and i hes verse appealed to me more, cool battle guys.

vote-noggah

[Pembroke]

Schematic - A significant part of this verse was fuckin' raw. Intergalactic symbolism, descriptions made from the nebulae to the flesh.. this is a tight verse using science fiction ideas and infusing the foundation with a braggadocious air.

No metaphor implied, im the meteoric world eater
a blazing line to realign yours without a word either
^This bar is sig-worthy.

Ill shoot a nuke at jupiter and ignite the second sun
till its hot as nuclear fusion, and the light of heavens come
^So is this, but I don't really like the first half of the second line, could be taken out or reworded..

I'm buying you another cookie.

Noggah the Beast of the League - Aight, so you went full circle with the rhythm, and it worked like a Chinese coal miner. I don't know, this is a close call, Scheme's bragging techniques doused the spice he brung, while you sprinkled sage onto a seasoned, fully packed verse with all the right ingredients. It's almost like homage, continuance to the gargantuan consistency you bring with the magazines. Got me all jargon-like..

so my mental targeting stations locked on with a full arsenal waitin...
with rocket exchanges, mainly on my part, he knocked a grenade in...
solvin equations, ponderin mazes of quantum and philosophical stages...
impossible obstacles waded through while ripples caused a sensation...
onlookers got from the sages an insurmountable amount of topics debated...
had them jotted on pages to pass down for followers lost in amazement...
students were brought up and raised on it, embedded in the heart of the nation...
modern thought was based off this display of conquerin language...
^That is pure solidity.

I wouldn't vote if I had the choice, but I'm voting. Both of you are spewing flames as of late..

v/ My Nig Nog

Scheme, you're going to be a monster, keep sterile and waiting until it's time to devour all the little children of the orphanage.

Stay up to boaf.

[Schematic]

0-2

[1/2 Wit It]

Schematic:
No metaphor implied, im the meteoric world eater
a blazing line to realign yours without a word either
Coming for Mother Earth under cover of Saturns ring
bringing Judgement and Rapture without clapping and singing
First two lines opened it well. Second two lines were iffy though. The rhyme seems alittle forced..
A vast and unseen machine programmed Holy plans
to blast planets to pieces with fully automated cannons
Brought famine and waged wars on the Rainforest
with Agent Orange, waving flaming torches like crazy cave explorers
The rhyming in all four lines seems iffy..It's not the entire lines that I'm having a problem with though, it's just the way you rhyme the last two lines in each bar..I think you should dig a bit deeper and find words that mesh together better rather than trying to force a fit..
Raising horror, a blazing lordship ladies and dames screamin
leaving the fray with a bridage of evil enslaved demons
She raged undefoot, and above with ball lightning
fighting long after the fall of all life forms hiding
The first bar is sick..detailed wording, good imagery. the second bar is iffy once again in my opinion..same reason as stated above..
While standing on a landfill with a brain full of pain killers
I bask in the waves of radiation and acid rain rivers
From space I see the blue face surrounded by mushrooms
Her once proud race shrouded with flames and dust plumes
First bar is nice..wordings on point, imagery's there..came out fluently. Wording coulda been tweaked alittle at the beginning of the third line, other than that I had no problem with the second bar.
Ill shoot a nuke at jupiter and ignite the second sun
till its hot as nuclear fusion, and the light of heavens come
Theres no place to run or protection from any forces
Its "Apocolypse Now," and im the prophetic seventh horsemen
This is probaly my favorite section..First bar is just sick with excellent wording and the concept of the second bar is what makes it dope..
Whats left of her sizzles and pops with toxic fumes
so I light a Cig on the cinders, and sing a Sinatra tune
I think I woulda liked it more if the word "sing" was replaced with like, "hum"..don't know why. But I still thought this was a solid closure..can't take anything away from that.


Noggah:
a monumental occasion... impact of atomics droppin on asians...
not damage, but mind expansion and growth when knowledge awakens...
back in the past, a master of craftin words and Noggah were pacin...
tossin up statements, questioning logic and thoughts of the ages...
Wording was smooth and effortless in both bars..Attention-grasping opener. Second bar was just enjoyable..can't say much else about it.
til one day, Socrates all in a rage got cross in his hatred...
cause Nog was the boss and he could no longer tolerate it...
He challenged tha kid to a battle of wits, words launched the engagement...
so my mental targeting stations locked on with a full arsenal waitin...
I think the first bar could be tweaked alittle..Seems kinda sketchy. Second bar was pretty comedic in my opinion..I don't know if you meant for it to come off like that. But it was cool either way..
with rocket exchanges, mainly on my part, he knocked a grenade in...
solvin equations, ponderin mazes of quantum and philosophical stages...
impossible obstacles waded through while ripples caused a sensation...
onlookers got from the sages an insurmountable amount of topics debated...
Felt like you tried alittle too hard with the first bar, which made it come off as slightly forced in my opinon..Second bar was put together quite nicely..No problem there.
had them jotted on pages to pass down for followers lost in amazement...
students were brought up and raised on it, embedded in the heart of the nation...
modern thought was based off this display of conquerin language...
one of their students regurgitated it and was honored n famous...
First line needs minor tweaking, other than that the first bar was cool. Second bar was impressive..Wording was effortless yet crisp..
it was Socrates' brain muscle strain trouble, over-stackin bars on the weight bench...
against a mind sharpened to blades polished n stainless I'm choppin away with...
i took out his legs, he toppled onto nubs wobblin dangerous...
while pointing a knife at me with a wild swing that scarred the face a bit...
Eh, both bars were iffy to me..Once again this is an area where I felt like you were trying too hard to maintain the constant flow of multies..If the wording was tightened up a bit I feel like this coulda been a classic set of bars..But I think its lacking..
I lobotomized him on the spot... his skull was hollow and brainless..
the path to enlightenment blocked with erasers makin all of it blankness...
my smartest acquantance reduced to nothing, his friends offered escapin...
but he said the towns judgement of death was the best option to save him...
This was a cool closure. Maybe not as aggressive and eye-catching as I would have liked it to be, but it definately wasn't bad..


Overall: I felt that both of you struggled with your wording at times..In certain places you both tried to force it too much, which took away from your verses slightly. Schematic: Your verse was really intriguing, and kept me interested throughout..Although I'll have to agree with Criticize and say I'm not so sure as to where you were actually going with the topic..Other than that I believe you have a really original style and if you let it manifest, then in time you could be one of the greats as far as topicals go. Impressive verse..Had a couple of really creative lines. Wording shoulda been tweaked a tad. Nog: I felt like your verse opened up really hot, but as you went on it seemed like you began to struggle alot with trying to keep up the consecutive multies. You also had some quotables littered in there though..Basically the only REAL problem I had with your verse was the consistancy..Also I think you could have come with a more original approach..I've seen you take the comedic stance a few times before..Anyways, good verse, but not the best you could've done..I don't think the topic inspired you that much..

Vote: Schematic takes it imo. Maybe after reading over both verses a couple more times my opinion could be swayed because this was a pretty tight battle, but as of right now I'm leaning in his favor..I thought that both guys struggled with their wording in areas, and both guys had quotable bars..But what makes me feel like Schematic won this was his original approach to the topic..Just made the read more enjoyable for me..Close battle guys. L8ter

[Jay-Rede]

shem - i was really intrigued by your approach to the verse, your flow was flawless
and your rhymes were even better... i had to stop and think for a bit with some
of them.. damn props

Nog - dope shit again, imo some bars seemed to be stretched out a little, but overall a tight verse as usual...

both came cool... was a really good battle, but ima agree with HWI,

V.. Shem - i felt his verse was a bit more polished and flowed a little nicer - i dont normally vote against nog, cos - well his record speaks for itself... props to both

[Schematic]

2-2

[Beyond]

Ill battle.

Scematic: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Your unorthodox style of rhyming is very original and keeps the reader focused and entertained the entire way through. Your topic and approach was real fresh, maybe even as fresh as the ocean. It flowed real nice with your inside rhyming and precise structure.

Noggah: Do you think you're me now? lol. You came crazy with the multies and rhyme scheme all the way through. I was feeling your topic and approach. The only I didn't like was some of your multies were forced syllable-wise at times. I've noticed you do this quite often. It's weird because you're real good at multies, but kind of inconsistent.


Overall: This was a real close and sick battle. Niether of you deserve to lose this one, it's a real shame I have to pick a winner, but I have to do what I have to do, right? Noggah, I felt that you tried too hard with your rhyme scheme, that it took away from the content at times. I also thought that Schem's topic and approach was more original and creative, so in the end, my vote lies with him. Don't get me wrong though, this battle can definitely still go either way.

Vote: Schematic

[Plot]

Damn, Im giving it to Schem 3-2