HW#1 Criticize(0-0) vs Klutch(0-0)

[Con]

5-8

sign ins due thur., verses due Sat at 11:59.

on a noshow deal, u need to post a bar or two..no exceptions!

READ THE RULES ON TOP OF THE THREAD BEFORE U PROCEED WITH THIS.

[Criticize]

i will be going 8.

good luck bro.

[KlutCh.]

..yeas
8
bet.

[Criticize]

im ready il post later.

[Criticize]

Hi, My name is (who) Crit Criti Critic Criticize.
Can i have the attention of the class for 1 minute:

this mw is miniscule, i slaughter fags when killing fools,
coz ul meet death(depth) quicker than steep declines in swimming pools/
i ko'd you last time in the legaue and now my fists nail higer,
coz 8 bars will leave 'clutch wrecked' like 'female drivers'/
il dent-urs in the purist form n leave u wrecked with clenched teeth,
and have your 'flesh saturated in blood' like 'processed mince beef'/
when i fire at random bullets fly sloppy through frames,
only time u 'land'd a chance' was playin monoploly games/

u cant mess with the champ! i batter weak flows,
and my hits 'exlode ya vein(vane) like a shattered ego/
my assults is so inhumane! it shrinks when bitter,
that'l have ya bone catlige dried up like ink in printers/(fill my ink cartridge bitch)
il be grazing ya sections, intaped erasing perfections,
until ya 'insert-in a coma(comma) like grammer corections'/
il make you eat dirt until your records worth dust,
ur best punches r 'medi-core' like da centre of earths crust/



and by the way, tell him i slit his throat in this dream i had.

[KlutCh.]

..quikly thrown together

*Serve'n Up!*

..u spit’n with normality nothing outta the mild degree
now ull see ur style is weak, watch him when ‘He-Brews in Defeat’ like an ‘Atheist Reality’!! (Hebrews)
..u amazed N shyt when he bows to me, awestruck cuz I rip up for fun
its all fuck’d son, yall about to witness N ‘See-Crits_ Death’ like an ‘Incautious Slip of the Tongue’!! (Secret)
..IT’S A STICK UP!..ur stunned I got guns with barrels big enuff to drive trunks thru
fuck you! cuz after I ‘Blow a Hole in Your Torso’ you ‘Wont Have tha Guts’ to!!
..trust dude ima Abuse You
N ima ‘Own The Champ’ like tha way ‘Don King Used To’!!
..confused you with a blurry a punches.. after my fist crash into ur teeth
ima cripple kid N ‘Break the Hip-A-Crit_’ N start to ‘Practice Wut i Preach’!! (Hypocrite)

*OOOOooooo Maaannn!!!*

..razor blade slap’d across the cheek leave u bleed’n when I sever u
its inevitable ur ‘Not Eva Gonna be Shit’, like ‘Non-Edibles’!!
..pimp N peddle u, then when im finished and u gross me
ima force-feed u tha barrel N ‘Blow A Shell Out Ya Ass’ like ‘Yoshi’!!

*..yeas*

[Thesis-]

Crit

this mw is miniscule, i slaughter fags when killing fools,
coz ul meet death(depth) quicker than steep declines in swimming pools/
~lol
i ko'd you last time in the legaue and now my fists nail higer,
coz 8 bars will leave 'clutch wrecked' like 'female drivers'/
~nice
il dent-urs in the purist form n leave u wrecked with clenched teeth,
and have your 'flesh saturated in blood' like 'processed mince beef'/
~ehhhh ok
when i fire at random bullets fly sloppy through frames,
only time u 'land'd a chance' was playin monoploly games/
~nice one
u cant mess with the champ! i batter weak flows,
and my hits 'exlode ya vein(vane) like a shattered ego/
~decent
my assults is so inhumane! it shrinks when bitter,
that'l have ya bone catlige dried up like ink in printers/(fill my ink cartridge bitch)
~blah
il be grazing ya sections, intaped erasing perfections,
until ya 'insert-in a coma(comma) like grammer corections'/
~lol
il make you eat dirt until your records worth dust,
ur best punches r 'medi-core' like da centre of earths crust/
~damn good closer

Overall g'shit nice verse keep at it


Klutch

..u spit’n with normality nothing outta the mild degree
now ull see ur style is weak, watch him when ‘He-Brews in Defeat’ like an ‘Atheist Reality’!! (Hebrews)
~good shit
..u amazed N shyt when he bows to me, awestruck cuz I rip up for fun
its all fuck’d son, yall about to witness N ‘See-Crits_ Death’ like an ‘Incautious Slip of the Tongue’!! (Secret)
~ok
..IT’S A STICK UP!..ur stunned I got guns with barrels big enuff to drive trunks thru
fuck you! cuz after I ‘Blow a Hole in Your Torso’ you ‘Wont Have tha Guts’ to!!
..trust dude ima Abuse You
N ima ‘Own The Champ’ like tha way ‘Don King Used To’!!
~lol nice
..confused you with a blurry a punches.. after my fist crash into ur teeth
ima cripple kid N ‘Break the Hip-A-Crit_’ N start to ‘Practice Wut i Preach’!! (Hypocrite)
~decent
..razor blade slap’d across the cheek leave u bleed’n when I sever u
its inevitable ur ‘Not Eva Gonna be Shit’, like ‘Non-Edibles’!!
~yes
..pimp N peddle u, then when im finished and u gross me
ima force-feed u tha barrel N ‘Blow A Shell Out Ya Ass’ like ‘Yoshi’!!
~no

Overall again a good verse hard battle ta judge

v-Crit

[Malil]

this mw is miniscule, i slaughter fags when killing fools,
coz ul meet death(depth) quicker than steep declines in swimming pools/..
you could have left it as is.. the fact that you said death /depth made the punch sound forced

i ko'd you last time in the legaue and now my fists nail higer,
coz 8 bars will leave 'clutch wrecked' like 'female drivers'/
str8..

il dent-urs in the purist form n leave u wrecked with clenched teeth,
and have your 'flesh saturated in blood' like 'processed mince beef'/
filler

when i fire at random bullets fly sloppy through frames,
only time u 'land'd a chance' was playin monoploly games/
str8

u cant mess with the champ! i batter weak flows,
and my hits 'exlode ya vein(vane) like a shattered ego/
str8

my assults is so inhumane! it shrinks when bitter,
that'l have ya bone catlige dried up like ink in printers/(fill my ink cartridge bitch)
filler

il be grazing ya sections, intaped erasing perfections,
until ya 'insert-in a coma(comma) like grammer corections'/
forced

il make you eat dirt until your records worth dust,
ur best punches r 'medi-core' like da centre of earths crust/
forced

your wordplay doesnt match up... i dont know how thay do it downunder... but it looks like your verse is Australian for weak(week)... see what i mean



..u spit’n with normality nothing outta the mild degree
now ull see ur style is weak, watch him when ‘He-Brews in Defeat’ like an ‘Atheist Reality’!! (Hebrews)
sigh..ok

..u amazed N shyt when he bows to me, awestruck cuz I rip up for fun
its all fuck’d son, yall about to witness N ‘See-Crits_ Death’ like an ‘Incautious Slip of the Tongue’!! (Secret)
i get it ... could have left the N b4 See-Crits out

..IT’S A STICK UP!..ur stunned I got guns with barrels big enuff to drive trunks thru
fuck you! cuz after I ‘Blow a Hole in Your Torso’ you ‘Wont Have tha Guts’ to!!
forced...no setup

..trust dude ima Abuse You
N ima ‘Own The Champ’ like tha way ‘Don King Used To’!!
ok

..confused you with a blurry a punches.. after my fist crash into ur teeth
ima cripple kid N ‘Break the Hip-A-Crit_’ N start to ‘Practice Wut i Preach’!! (Hypocrite)
nice... a lil forced though


*OOOOooooo Maaannn!!!*

..razor blade slap’d across the cheek leave u bleed’n when I sever u
its inevitable ur ‘Not Eva Gonna be Shit’, like ‘Non-Edibles’!!
str8.

..pimp N peddle u, then when im finished and u gross me
ima force-feed u tha barrel N ‘Blow A Shell Out Ya Ass’ like ‘Yoshi’!!
lmao... i like that... imagery


man you dudes need a lesson on WORDPLAY... vote Klutch .he wasnt as bad as the other guy... really that last line is what did it

Originally Posted by Criticize

if you really want we can count that last dudes vote. even tho both newbies who voted for you have no idea what their doing and ruined my ko.



curti's a moron with 200 posts that dude aint counting.



so 3-1



or3-0

every vote after mine said the same thing.. i even gave an example of what i meant.. you cant win em all.. plus i really have about 1000 posts as Millennium Falc and The Supreme MF combined... plus i'm not a push over rhyme wise as far audio is concerned... i dont know whats played cus i dont do this a lot.. but i know what i'm talking about.



klutch is a good dude not to be complaining

[Criticize]

^ cant be serious,
that breakdown is a joke.

[Pembroke]

Hi, My name is (who) Crit Criti Critic Criticize.
Can i have the attention of the class for 1 minute:

No, you cayn't

this mw is miniscule, i slaughter fags when killing fools,
coz ul meet death(depth) quicker than steep declines in swimming pools/

- Simple, and how can you slaughter fags when killing fools...

i ko'd you last time in the legaue and now my fists nail higher,
coz 8 bars will leave 'clutch wrecked' like 'female drivers'/

- No, nameplay doesn't work

il dent-urs in the purist form n leave u wrecked with clenched teeth,
and have your 'flesh saturated in blood' like 'processed mince beef'/

- Eh

when i fire at random bullets fly sloppy through frames,
only time u 'land'd a chance' was playin monoploly games/

- "Chance" related to Monopoly is played, for ex: You blew your chance like giving dome to Monopoly cards.. Like that.

u cant mess with the champ! i batter weak flows,
and my hits 'exlode ya vein(vane) like a shattered ego/

- This makes no sense, what does a shattered ego have to do with vane - a flat surface?

my assults is so inhumane! it shrinks when bitter,
that'l have ya bone catlige dried up like ink in printers/(fill my ink cartridge bitch)

- Learn to use correct grammar.. this is acceptable

il be grazing ya sections, intaped erasing perfections,
until ya 'insert-in a coma(comma) like grammer corections'/

- Played, and you spelled corrections wrong when talking about GRAMMAR CORRECTIONS.. Lol

il make you eat dirt until your records worth dust,
ur best punches r 'medi-core' like da centre of earths crust/

- Doesn't work, it's mead e oker, not mead e core/Meet the core.. this doesn't make sense anyways.

Accept my vote or die, it's perfectly honest - you have to understand that because you battle so much your verses aren't going to be as good.. that's that.

Klutch

..u spit’n with normality nothing outta the mild degree
now ull see ur style is weak, watch him when ‘He-Brews in Defeat’ like an ‘Atheist Reality’!! (Hebrews)

- Cool wordplay, but atheist reality? Nah.. maybe Egyptian bondage

..u amazed N shyt when he bows to me, awestruck cuz I rip up for fun
its all fuck’d son, yall about to witness N ‘See-Crits_ Death’ like an ‘Incautious Slip of the Tongue’!! (Secret)

- No

..IT’S A STICK UP!..ur stunned I got guns with barrels big enuff to drive trunks thru
fuck you! cuz after I ‘Blow a Hole in Your Torso’ you ‘Wont Have tha Guts’ to!!

- Weak

..trust dude ima Abuse You
N ima ‘Own The Champ’ like tha way ‘Don King Used To’!!

- What's with the setup? Pressed for time?

..confused you with a blurry a punches.. after my fist crash into ur teeth
ima cripple kid N ‘Break the Hip-A-Crit_’ N start to ‘Practice Wut i Preach’!! (Hypocrite)

- No...

..razor blade slap’d across the cheek leave u bleed’n when I sever u
its inevitable ur ‘Not Eva Gonna be Shit’, like ‘Non-Edibles’!!

- ...

..pimp N peddle u, then when im finished and u gross me
ima force-feed u tha barrel N ‘Blow A Shell Out Ya Ass’ like ‘Yoshi’!!

- K

v/ Criticize

Klutch.. probably pressed for time, and it turned out really bad. Criticize, the usual.. nameplay, simple wordplay, and the self-praise. Enough to take it.

[Fluent]

Criticize

this mw is miniscule, i slaughter fags when killing fools,
coz ul meet death(depth) quicker than steep declines in swimming pools/
Forced
i ko'd you last time in the legaue and now my fists nail higer,
coz 8 bars will leave 'clutch wrecked' like 'female drivers'/
Basic
il dent-urs in the purist form n leave u wrecked with clenched teeth,
and have your 'flesh saturated in blood' like 'processed mince beef'/
Decent
when i fire at random bullets fly sloppy through frames,
only time u 'land'd a chance' was playin monoploly games/
Played
u cant mess with the champ! i batter weak flows,
and my hits 'exlode ya vein(vane) like a shattered ego/
Wording seems off
my assults is so inhumane! it shrinks when bitter,
that'l have ya bone catlige dried up like ink in printers/(fill my ink cartridge bitch)
Decent
il be grazing ya sections, intaped erasing perfections,
until ya 'insert-in a coma(comma) like grammer corections'/
Put-in would've sounded better
il make you eat dirt until your records worth dust,
ur best punches r 'medi-core' like da centre of earths crust/
Mediocre has an O sound so this was forced

Klutch

..u spit’n with normality nothing outta the mild degree
now ull see ur style is weak, watch him when ‘He-Brews in Defeat’ like an ‘Atheist Reality’!!
Decent
..u amazed N shyt when he bows to me, awestruck cuz I rip up for fun
its all fuck’d son, yall about to witness N ‘See-Crits_ Death’ like an ‘Incautious Slip of the Tongue’!!
Nope
..IT’S A STICK UP!..ur stunned I got guns with barrels big enuff to drive trunks thru
fuck you! cuz after I ‘Blow a Hole in Your Torso’ you ‘Wont Have tha Guts’ to!!
Nope
..trust dude ima Abuse You
N ima ‘Own The Champ’ like tha way ‘Don King Used To’!!
Basic
..confused you with a blurry a punches.. after my fist crash into ur teeth
ima cripple kid N ‘Break the Hip-A-Crit_’ N start to ‘Practice Wut i Preach’!! (Hypocrite)
Decent
..razor blade slap’d across the cheek leave u bleed’n when I sever u
its inevitable ur ‘Not Eva Gonna be Shit’, like ‘Non-Edibles’!!
Wack
..pimp N peddle u, then when im finished and u gross me
ima force-feed u tha barrel N ‘Blow A Shell Out Ya Ass’ like ‘Yoshi’!!
Ehh

Vote: Criticize

Reason: Better wording,flow, disses were about even.

[DA CLICKSTA]

this mw is miniscule, i slaughter fags when killing fools,
coz ul meet death(depth) quicker than steep declines in swimming pools/
^^1st line-not a good way 2 start it off-like da concept in 2nd line but it'z not hittin^^
i ko'd you last time in the legaue and now my fists nail higher,
coz 8 bars will leave 'clutch wrecked' like 'female drivers'/
^^1st-not workin-2nd nice attempt but needz more description/betta wording^^
il dent-urs in the purist form n leave u wrecked with clenched teeth,
and have your 'flesh saturated in blood' like 'processed mince beef'/
1st linez coo-2nd not hittin^^
when i fire at random bullets fly sloppy through frames,
only time u 'land'd a chance' was playin monoploly games/
^^1st not hittin-2nd weak attempt^^
u cant mess with the champ! i batter weak flows,
and my hits 'exlode ya vein(vane) like a shattered ego/
^^1st no effect-2nd dat'd b vanity an it'znot workin^^
my assults is so inhumane! it shrinks when bitter,
that'l have ya bone catlige dried up like ink in printers/(fill my ink cartridge bitch)
^^dis bar haz no effect^^
il be grazing ya sections, intaped erasing perfections,
until ya 'insert-in a coma(comma) like grammer corections'/
^^feelin da start of 1st not da end-2nd not worded well-no effect^^
il make you eat dirt until your records worth dust,
ur best punches r 'medi-core' like da centre of earths crust/
^^1st iz coo-2nd badly worded-no effect^^


u spit’n with normality nothing outta the mild degree
now ull see ur style is weak, watch him when ‘He-Brews in Defeat’ like an ‘Atheist Reality’!! (Hebrews)^^1st coo start-2nd da religious ref aint hittin^^
..u amazed N shyt when he bows to me, awestruck cuz I rip up for fun
its all fuck’d son, yall about to witness N ‘See-Crits_ Death’ like an ‘Incautious Slip of the Tongue’!! (Secret)^^1st no effect-2nd coo wordplay not hittin^^
..IT’S A STICK UP!..ur stunned I got guns with barrels big enuff to drive trunks thru
fuck you! cuz after I ‘Blow a Hole in Your Torso’ you ‘Wont Have tha Guts’ to!!
^^1st no effect-2nd coo concept but not hittin^^
..trust dude ima Abuse You
N ima ‘Own The Champ’ like tha way ‘Don King Used To’!!
^^1st decent set up 4-2nd nice concept^^
..confused you with a blurry a punches.. after my fist crash into ur teeth
ima cripple kid N ‘Break the Hip-A-Crit_’ N start to ‘Practice Wut i Preach’!! (Hypocrite)
^^1st dat'd b "flurry" itz not hittin-2nd coo wordplay coo line could b arranged betta^^
"..razor blade slap’d across the cheek leave u bleed’n when I sever u
its inevitable ur ‘Not Eva Gonna be Shit’, like ‘Non-Edibles’!!
^^1st basicly ineffectual 2nd-nice Shitt^^
..pimp N peddle u, then when im finished and u gross me
ima force-feed u tha barrel N ‘Blow A Shell Out Ya Ass’ like ‘Yoshi’!!
^^1st decent-2nd Nice

Vote-->Klutch
Xplanation-->betta overall verse-more creative-linez had more effect den Critz...
Crit haz coo shitt I think he needz 2 work on how he arrangez & wordz termz in da linez of hiz rhymez...

keep rippin an flippin da gift...

[KlutCh.]

im confused...

wuts the count?

2-2 or 2-1 you?

[Thesis-]

^its3-2 crit me fluent n pembroke voted for crit

da clicksta n curti curt voted for u

[Criticize]

if you really want we can count that last dudes vote. even tho both newbies who voted for you have no idea what their doing and ruined my ko.

curti's a moron with 200 posts that dude aint counting.

so 3-1

or3-0