dun dun dunnnn.

[impolite]

links- schem and exis


freeverse, just been away awhile.


on this Gorgeous spring day, it's important to say
that there's a chance for an unfortunate rain
implore of the saints that nature's retort goes sustained
but i'm a war which once tore through the grain
why settle for this when there's more room to gain as well as proportionate fame
my portrait stays framed, if you paid yesterday trust you can't afford it today
i'm on top of my game, the crop of the slain
adroit and agile, from a delicate dungeon with porcelain chains
got your numbers ate and only seven horsemen remained
i'm the court in Bahrain, bringing life to a morbid terrain
Ah, the daft sigh
milking my glory, i break open knees just to hear the calf cry
and that's just playin' around
by the time i get serious you'll already lay in the ground
safe and sound, buried next to distrust like Renier's bound
i'm that cool guy, with true dry wit and a mule to ride with
don't need a nice car cause cats run when their hear those hooves' quiet click
yeeeeah, foreign and Gangster
born in a manger like any other moronic savior made by a whore and a stranger
'cept my moms was a saint, with looks classic
cooking classes and book stacks with more vanity than a crooked phallus
but i'm going off topic here..
point is i'm a rotten peer to have peering through your house, unlocked at rear
worst case scenario, i'd walk in there, rape your lady and let her know you're a toxic queer
or shoot the place up, it don't really matter
i'd be dope here and after so just remember who wrote this knows his boasts appear scattered..see?
but if it was about you, you'd sit back and soak in sheer flattery

[Exis]

on this Gorgeous spring day, it's important to say
that there's a chance for an unfortunate rain

^^I really wish it was spring , winter in the land down under can be a bitch...

my portrait stays framed, if you paid yesterday trust you can't afford it today
i'm on top of my game, the crop of the slain
adroit and agile, from a delicate dungeon with porcelain chains
got your numbers ate and only seven horsemen remained
i'm the court in Bahrain, bringing life to a morbid terrain

^^raw , just great content...multies are nice no doubt.

yeeeeah, foreign and Gangster
born in a manger like any other moronic savior made by a whore and a stranger
'cept my moms was a saint, with looks classic
cooking classes and book stacks with more vanity than a crooked phallus

^^ha , sick...

there's a few lines that seem forced , stretched in comparison to others which made me lose the flow for a little...that's my only complaint though.The amount of diction you work into your verses is often dope , and here you combine it with slick ass wordin' for the most part fam...once again schemes are good...switchin' things up on the regular to not fall into that repetitive read for who's peepin' it.Very original shit as I've come to expect from you man , the last two sections I quoted were flames imo...solid spit that was more than enjoyable gettin' to Imp , nice title yo lol...it's time to collab again.

...welcome back player , stay uppity.

[Pembroke]

Yes, thiis was ripe with originality and your rhythm is extremely catchy and the ideas presented were vibrant and well placed. You're one of the few members on Rapflava who can make rhymed verses into pieces of literature.. meaningful to any end and clearly enjoyable for you to write and gloss over with refurbished details. Heroic, ironic, sarcastic.. just the right tone.

i'm the court in Bahrain, bringing life to a morbid terrain
^Quite the masterful feat.

'cept my moms was a saint, with looks classic
cooking classes and book stacks with more vanity than a crooked phallus
^Tight.

Riiiiise to the top.. this must be seen.

Stay up

[..Freddy Ruger]

Flow was nice..
The multie's were nice.
cool job ;)

[Darth Yoda]

This came off as two different pieces to me. They related slightly but the style changed midway as well as the effort I think. First half was crafted really well. Scheme was tight and flowed easily. Second half sounded more like the title, a free verse.

"if you paid yesterday trust you can't afford it today"

Pretty cool read though.

[FranchisE]

sounded like was jsut some fuckin around shit
and i dont mean that its not good..shit was pretty decent..
but it wasnt like sumthin i think u put effort into..
it was ok

[method675]

that was sick

[7th Crescent]

on this Gorgeous spring day, it's important to say
that there's a chance for an unfortunate rain
implore of the saints that nature's retort goes sustained
but i'm a war which once tore through the grain
why settle for this when there's more room to gain as well as proportionate fame
my portrait stays framed, if you paid yesterday trust you can't afford it today
i'm on top of my game, the crop of the slain
adroit and agile, from a delicate dungeon with porcelain chains
got your numbers ate and only seven horsemen remained
i'm the court in Bahrain, bringing life to a morbid terrain
--DAMN!!.. Nice...flow was sick as hell here..

I would have to agree with what has been said..to a point though..the opener was dope..the rest was nice as hell but it seemed like you stepped away from it and then came back and kept writing..cuz the content did make a dramatic shift..but the flow was still there but not as smooth as the first section I quoted..but you noticed it when you stated, "im going off topic"..
good to see you back fam..keep doing you

[Lyrical Messiah]

on this Gorgeous spring day, it's important to say
that there's a chance for an unfortunate rain

I dug this part. Nice multis. Nice imagery.

implore of the saints that nature's retort goes sustained
but i'm a war which once tore through the grain
why settle for this when there's more room to gain as well as proportionate fame
my portrait stays framed, if you paid yesterday trust you can't afford it today
i'm on top of my game, the crop of the slain
adroit and agile, from a delicate dungeon with porcelain chains
got your numbers ate and only seven horsemen remained
i'm the court in Bahrain, bringing life to a morbid terrain

I really dug this. Nice multis. I dug the scheme. I saw a few places for metas in there. But besides that dope.

Ah, the daft sigh
milking my glory, i break open knees just to hear the calf cry
and that's just playin' around
by the time i get serious you'll already lay in the ground
safe and sound, buried next to distrust like Renier's bound
i'm that cool guy, with true dry wit and a mule to ride with
don't need a nice car cause cats run when their hear those hooves' quiet click
yeeeeah, foreign and Gangster

II thought the first part could have been more complex. But it got better. I didn't understand the last line.

born in a manger like any other moronic savior made by a whore and a stranger
'cept my moms was a saint, with looks classic
cooking classes and book stacks with more vanity than a crooked phallus
but i'm going off topic here..
point is i'm a rotten peer to have peering through your house, unlocked at rear
worst case scenario, i'd walk in there, rape your lady and let her know you're a toxic queer

Dope. I thought that toxic queer didnt really fit. But it was good beside that.

or shoot the place up, it don't really matter
i'd be dope here and after so just remember who wrote this knows his boasts appear scattered..see?
but if it was about you, you'd sit back and soak in sheer flattery

I thought you could have ended stronger. But nice drop regardless. keep writing.

[eL Rated]

on this Gorgeous spring day, it's important to say
that there's a chance for an unfortunate rain
implore of the saints that nature's retort goes sustained
but i'm a war which once tore through the grain
why settle for this when there's more room to gain as well as proportionate fame
my portrait stays framed, if you paid yesterday trust you can't afford it today
i'm on top of my game, the crop of the slain
adroit and agile, from a delicate dungeon with porcelain chains
got your numbers ate and only seven horsemen remained
i'm the court in Bahrain, bringing life to a morbid terrain

^Damn boy, you just burnt my eye brows off.. that shits hot.

Ah, the daft sigh
milking my glory, i break open knees just to hear the calf cry
and that's just playin' around
by the time i get serious you'll already lay in the ground
safe and sound, buried next to distrust like Renier's bound
i'm that cool guy, with true dry wit and a mule to ride with
don't need a nice car cause cats run when their hear those hooves' quiet click
yeeeeah, foreign and Gangster
born in a manger like any other moronic savior made by a whore and a stranger
'cept my moms was a saint, with looks classic
cooking classes and book stacks with more vanity than a crooked phallus

^Again kept multis tight, wording correct and flow on point..

but i'm going off topic here..
point is i'm a rotten peer to have peering through your house, unlocked at rear
worst case scenario, i'd walk in there, rape your lady and let her know you're a toxic queer
or shoot the place up, it don't really matter
i'd be dope here and after so just remember who wrote this knows his boasts appear scattered..see?
but if it was about you, you'd sit back and soak in sheer flattery

^Finishied this nicely..

Duke i havnt been here in a minute but you've elevated so much since the last few pieces i fed on from you. You've kept your unique style, and ran with your ideas nice shit man, keep up..