C2: PunSlinger Wins Vs. King M.C (K.O)(Open Mic)

[HellRazor]

10 Bars Due Friday (Extensions Granted Upon Request til 08/09). Vote on other Battles..!

[Punslinger]

G'lock.

[King M.C]

check...

[Punslinger]

The Sad Clown.


... Cry now, smile later?

The impaired delirious aka …
the Illusionist, but the flare aint spurious.
I ‘treat battles like cancer’ ……Very serious.
Execution, forming visions of the wild.
…A Pun so deadly, I’d kill you with a smile.
A vision of a guile is what excellence demands.
I feel cloaked in safeness …
…when I place my head between my hands.
One day I saw Earth was falling,
But saving humanity? Suddenly ‘I just cant reflex!’
When the planet shattered,
I smiled to the Grand Disaster - I’m just a Happy Mess.
Rebellious to the nation; Hell’s in inflammation.
I’d try to give a hug,
But the Straight-Jacket isn’t helping the situation.
This war storm hit me, clouding on my image.
Drowning to the distance,
Crying for help, frowning is my grimace.
The paint spreading to my face, corrosive to the flesh.
I’d die laughing, but this fuckin’ pulse is in effect.
Seeing so much felicity, it even hurts my iris.
Forcing myself to reveal… it even hurts to write this.
AHHHHHHH…… Feel my pain, it’s carved-in flow.
I write it now…
‘cause nobody smiles at The Sad Clown at the Carnival.

…
..
.


Live in peace, die in War.

[King M.C]

electrical means send da wits
conveying intelIgence through da instrument
its weighing elephants, tip da scale with insolence
old telegram give you all my sentiments
"you in this" mental of a John Nash
a beautiful mind for combat
fuse with the tension da bomb blast
technically you know where im at
lyrically all that, easy make a jennifer "haul ass"
ya sarcasm take part in drama... you work da stage
i disregard ya honor and how you personate
flipping da script on da set, cuz i dont work with fakes
breaking ya hypocritcal neck in da worstest way
you in contact with a "clerical" case, my "verse" da best
i produce miracle "aid" when ur terrible plague just leaves da church hex
"uncomparable take" you even curse sex
ya parables sway... you havent hit a nerve yet
lleave ya words wet from da AR 15
you really on the radar missing.. ur only in hater vision
women relly dont pay u no attention.. i be da player u isnt
so say goodbye to them misses,they play ur digits like lottery lists


PEACE

[1/2 Wit It]

Punslinger;

The impaired delirious aka …
the Illusionist, but the flare aint spurious.
I ‘treat battles like cancer’ ……Very serious.

I liked this opener for it's witty simplicity..

A vision of a guile is what excellence demands.
I feel cloaked in safeness …
…when I place my head between my hands.

Rather poetic, don't you think? I dig it.

Rebellious to the nation; Hell’s in inflammation.
I’d try to give a hug,
But the Straight-Jacket isn’t helping the situation.

Dopeness..

Seeing so much felicity, it even hurts my iris.
Forcing myself to reveal… it even hurts to write this.
AHHHHHHH…… Feel my pain, it’s carved-in flow.
I write it now…
‘cause nobody smiles at The Sad Clown at the Carnival.

Okay..I enjoyed this as a closer..Although I felt it could have probaly been worded alittle differently to help make it flow through smoother and more effective.

Overall; Verse was enjoyable..Very clever ideas which were delivered sharply..Flow was on point for the most part, although the keystyle-rhythm of the verse began to wear on me towards the end..Nonetheless I enjoyed the read. Good work, man.

King M.C.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

electrical means send da wits
conveying intelIgence through da instrument
its weighing elephants, tip da scale with insolence
old telegram give you all my sentiments
"you in this" mental of a John Nash
a beautiful mind for combat

Delivered in rapid succession, which I like..Flow is very sharp and straight to the point..always good for an opening

ya sarcasm take part in drama... you work da stage
i disregard ya honor and how you personate

Think this would have been more effective if the wording was tweaked alittle..not bad though.

you in contact with a "clerical" case, my "verse" da best
i produce miracle "aid" when ur terrible plague just leaves da church hex
"uncomparable take" you even curse sex
ya parables sway... you havent hit a nerve yet

I'm thinking hexed* is was you were going for..but yeah, this set of bars is probaly my favorite i've read so far in this verse..Wording was on point and it all came together smoothly..

lleave ya words wet from da AR 15
you really on the radar missing.. ur only in hater vision
women relly dont pay u no attention.. i be da player u isnt
so say goodbye to them misses,they play ur digits like lottery lists

I think that last line would rhyme better with 'lottery tickets'..so that kinda through me off about the closer..Although I felt these lines were pretty cool, I don't think they were explosive enough

Overall; Also an enjoyable read..Felt the wording could be worked on a tad as to cause less confusion, but the concepts were definately there..You maintained a steady, yet rapid-fire style of flow, which kept this read from growing boring or dull..A few of your ideas were alittle soft, or not planned out well enough, but I still found this to be a respectful drop.


Overall Vote; Though both verses were enjoyable, making this decision tough for me, I have to say that Punslinger had the more creative concepts, thus giving him my vote..Both had ups and downs, but when weighing Pun's bars against King's, I think that Pun has the heavier load of eye-catching material..Competitive showing..Props to both. Peace

[Exis]

y'all want my vote?...let me know if so and Ima edit.

[King M.C]

it was a quick drop..said friday know i had this much time
off but i thought still clean... thanks half for da vote

clerical means belonging to clergy{all the priests:ministers of a church}

[Xylo]

The impaired delirious aka …
the Illusionist, but the flare aint spurious.
I ‘treat battles like cancer’ ……Very serious.
Nice opener live and direct

Execution, forming visions of the wild.
…A Pun so deadly, I’d kill you with a smile.
A vision of a guile is what excellence demands.
I feel cloaked in safeness …
…when I place my head between my hands.
Slick choice of wording makes this tite

One day I saw Earth was falling,
But saving humanity? Suddenly ‘I just cant reflex!’
When the planet shattered,
I smiled to the Grand Disaster - I’m just a Happy Mess.
visually horrifying great idea here

Rebellious to the nation; Hell’s in inflammation.
I’d try to give a hug,
But the Straight-Jacket isn’t helping the situation.
Iagree with 1/2 this was a great concept

This war storm hit me, clouding on my image.
Drowning to the distance,
Crying for help, frowning is my grimace.
I think this could have been tweaked a little bit i like it

The paint spreading to my face, corrosive to the flesh.
I’d die laughing, but this fuckin’ pulse is in effect.
Seeing so much felicity, it even hurts my iris.
Forcing myself to reveal… it even hurts to write this.
AHHHHHHH…… Feel my pain, it’s carved-in flow.
I write it now…
‘cause nobody smiles at The Sad Clown at the Carnival.
The end was ok and but could hurt ya in a close contest
always follow through to the end keep the fire going!

-VS-

electrical means send da wits
conveying intelIgence through da instrument
its weighing elephants, tip da scale with insolence
old telegram give you all my sentiments
Hmm this style looks like some one elses! nice though.
"you in this" mental of a John Nash
a beautiful mind for combat
fuse with the tension da bomb blast
technically you know where im at
lyrically all that, easy make a jennifer "haul ass"
Pretty nice setups and multies here

ya sarcasm take part in drama... you work da stage
i disregard ya honor and how you personate
flipping da script on da set, cuz i dont work with fakes
breaking ya hypocritcal neck in da worstest way
Nice but grammar is throwin it off a little bit

you in contact with a "clerical" case, my "verse" da best
i produce miracle "aid" when ur terrible plague just leaves da church hex
"uncomparable take" you even curse sex
ya parables sway... you havent hit a nerve yet
Nice multies but 2nd line could be checked a lil bit

lleave ya words wet from da AR 15
you really on the radar missing.. ur only in hater vision
women relly dont pay u no attention.. i be da player u isnt
so say goodbye to them misses,they play ur digits like lottery lists
Eh! ending i like it but its just the grammatical errors that get me

Punslinger you are very precise and creative with the way you build your
verse and it shows. your Vocabulary and grammar are pretty much well conscripted i enjoy your ability to make very visual enjoyable metaphorical
concepts just beware to follow through to the end because some times battle are won or lost at the last bar.

KMC Your style looks veeery!!!!!! familiar i wont say next to whos but i think most all will agree. anyways i actually enjoyed your piece better do to your bar set ups and usage of multies and the nice ebb and flow of your bar setups.
But your use of bad grammar honestly took away from how nice your fully created verse actually is if you can tweak that wow you are in the game!

other than that i enjoyed your verse.

To me because of fresher ideas and nice verse construction with less flaws my eventual vote goes to.

Punslinger.

Respect to both.

[Pembroke]

Punslinger

The impaired delirious aka …
the Illusionist, but the flare aint spurious.
I ‘treat battles like cancer’ ……Very serious.
^The way you opened up was spontaneous, I didn't see it coming.. but the delirious/serious rhyme is really played and kind of diluted this from the beginning. Spurious barely rhymed as well..

Other than that set back, the verse was cool. I liked your flow and the calm way you paced everything towards the conclusion of the sad clown character.

The paint spreading to my face, corrosive to the flesh.
I’d die laughing, but this fuckin’ pulse is in effect.
^Very dope.

Your structure and style reminds me of a cross between NoteBook and Beyond, most likely some of your influences on other forums.. this was a satisfying read.

King M.C. - You have a lot of nice concepts but your somewhat sloppy delivery is what prevents the fresh elements from breaking through. It could be how you've been rapping for awhile.. gutter and unfiltrated, the type that'd work instantly on the mic.. but on an open mic script, it's a different story. The solid rhyme links were strong, but everything didn't hold together as it could've if you smoothened it out more in your head before you put it down..

breaking ya hypocritcal neck in da worstest way
^Couldn't you have just said worst of ways?

This was a likeable open mic drop.. in general, could use improvements, for for a quick write, it's commendable.. welcome to the league.

v/ Punslinger

Went with his theme down a better path and did it more successfully..

Stay up to bofe

[Punslinger]

Really appreciate the feed/votes, fellas. I'll get to voting when I see any battle ready.

Good battle, King.

[King M.C]

likewise... maybe rematch sometime?

[Pembroke]

Me vs. Xylo is up for voting.

[Punslinger]

Originally Posted by King M.C

likewise... maybe rematch sometime?

Of course.

Originally Posted by Pembroke

Me vs. Xylo is up for voting.

On it.

[Exis]

Originally Posted by Exis

y'all want my vote?...let me know if so and Ima edit.

miss that?...fuck you then ;)