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Old 12-09-2006, 04:04 AM   #8 (permalink)
STRONGARM
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Default Re: Whats Good? (AV & Narcist)

Quote:
Originally Posted by AVARICE
and that’s me, so I pass peace through pipes
to my chief, that’s right or through rap beats and mics
cuz no tsunami tide could storm out hope
they say the poor mans broke
but that’s just the poor mans joke
cuz the poor man knows the true sign of wealth
just check how I breathe in life, sigh and well
tell the beaten path that’s down with gravity

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narcist
no psyche above substance
just matter over mind
shatter of the line
grandfathers gathered in the mine
clatter from a mime like
penning with a feather in their time
I liked how both verses weren't completely different from one another, they meshed well together. The only part I didn't like was the ending you chose Narcist.. just seemed out of place with the rest of your piece "whats poppin', what's happenin', what's good?" too upbeat and comical. I would have prefered you just mimic AV and use his ending word for word or with a slight variation.. wouldv'e have completed the mesh. I think you two fit well together in this piece. Not much in the way of what I personally like, but I can appreciate the writing. Good job..!
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